AWOL

Yup, that's me in a nutshell.  AWOL.

It's not even that I've been insanely busy, or tied up, in prison, held hostage or anything like that.  I've just been...  meh.

"Meh" means ho hum.  Uninspired.  Bored.

That's me.  All of the above.

The end of last school semester came and went and although I loved the class I took, enjoyed the books, I was disappointed in my results.  I am, however, relieved to be off (from school at least) for the Christmas break and trying to psych myself for the schedule I've laid out for myself for my last semester.

I'm not a very Christmas-ey type person.  I love to see my children enjoying all the festivities and gifts, but I can take it or leave it.  I feel guilty if I haven't bought enough for them to meet the "quota".  My family is so small that we only celebrate with my mom and my in-laws.  

Christmas also marks the anniversary of my dad's death which is always a little sad.

Then there's work - where the general feeling is that "work" is more important than anything else.  I'm so glad that I don't subscribe to that notion.

I sometimes find it hard to come here and read what everyone has been doing in their perspectives homes in the sunny south.  So far in the past 2 weeks we've had: 3 major snowstorms, rain, freezing rain, above average temperatures (above zero), below average temperatures (below -15), hurricane force winds (ok, I may be exaggerating here a little but they're big ass winds none the less) and hail.  It's gray and shitty, dirty and muddy, cold and windy.  So, I sometimes find it pretty depressing to be stuck here while some people are enjoying the places I want so badly to be.  Nothing personal folks - I just really despise winter.

Anyway.  On to cheerier things.

We DID have a nice Christmas and we're having friends over for a quiet New Year's Eve.  

So, even though I've been "Meh", I wish you all a great 2009 and hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Bring on the New Year!!!!

What I'm reading these days

Thankfully, classes are over for this semester and I don't go back until January, so I've got some time to delve into some reading of my choice.  Amazon.ca sucked me in again and forced me to buy 4 books.

The History of Mexico by Burton Kirkwood is a great book, although a little "textbooky".  It covers everything from the Mayans, Aztecs, the Conquistadors, the wars of Mexican independence, the Porfiriato, the Mexican revolution, right up to present times.  If you're looking for an interesting read, this is a good one!

I recently watched the movie "Blood Diamond" and was completely captivated by it.  I knew about blood diamonds, but I guess I was a little naive about the truth behind them.  The movie left me ashamed of having wanted a diamond ring, and more ashamed of actually wearing them.  This movie grabbed my heart, and so I wanted to learn more about Sierra Leone and the trade of blood diamonds.  (This is where Amazon.ca comes in again.....)

Blood Diamonds by Greg Campbell is the story of how diamond smuggling works, how the rebel war has destroyed Sierra Leone and how the policies of the diamond industry allowed it all to happen.  I haven't read the book yet, but I'll let you know how it is.  

A Long Way Gone - memoirs of a boy soldier by Ishmael Beah is a biography recounting how the author fled attacking rebels in Sierra Leone, joined the army, was removed from fighting at age 16 by UNICEF, learned to forgive himself for the terrible acts he committed and learned to love himself once again.

The Bite of the Mango by Mariatu Kamara chronicles how the author, while living in a small rural village near Sierra Leone was attacked by rebels who cut off her hands.  She survived and is now living Toronto, Ontario attending school.  

I know these books are going to affect me in many ways, but reading the truths about mankind can only bring a better understanding of the world, and the people who inhabit it.  Even if the subject is atrocious and horrific, it has really happened, and I'm willing to open myself to it instead of turning a blind eye.  

Jammie Weekend

To be quite honest, I have nothing new to talk about. I spent the entire weekend in my pyjamas working on an essay for school. It was a good weekend to hibernate in the house - Cold, rain, hail, snow. So, unless you want to hear all about my essay on Agar, a french book by Albert Memmi, which really is a fascinating book, by the way, you'll just have to wait for another day.

I did however, discover a really easy dinner - and I have NO idea why I didn't think of doing it sooner.... I'm a tool sometimes...

I made meatballs, got sub buns, cooked the meatballs in the spaghetti sauce, poured in all into the buns, and voila! Meatballs subs. Never a need to spend 8 dollars and whatever cents at Pizza Pizza again.

I'm too old?

Wow.  I'm kind of stunned over here in Canada.  I'm too old!  I'm 4 months shy of my 40th birthday and I'm too old.  

I'm a daydreamer, and I spend a lot of my time thinking about leaving Canada for Mexico, or anywhere else for that matter, to teach.  I love the idea of France or Italy, Mexico (for obvious reasons)..  pretty much anywhere.

So I was browsing around my university's international office website looking to see what opportunities there are through different teach away organizations.  I found a whole list of them, but for the greater majority, you have to be under the age of 35.  Seriously.

I was stunned.  I don't feel 40.   Hell, I don't even look 40!  Isn't 40 the new 30?  

Reading these websites was a bit of an eye opener.  A bit of a shocker, to say the least.  

Yes, I was born in the 60's.  It was the LATE 60's though.

Physically I look pretty darned good for my age.  I need someone to put my butt and my boobs back where they were 20 years ago, but I've had 2 kids!  

Sheesh.

I've got a few grays, but they're covered up with dye.  No one would know the difference.

So I guess I don't get to use the organizations and I'll have to do the legwork on my own when the time comes.

If anyone hears of any awesome teaching jobs that aren't in Canada or the States, keep me in mind!  I promise to leave my walker at home!

A group blog it is! Bilingual couples

As I was cruising through my favourite blogs, I headed to Cancun Canuck, read her post on languages, followed the link to Fned's blog, and well, here I am!

In our home, I speak English and French, with English being my mother tongue, my son Mike speaks English and French, again with English being his mother tongue.  My husband Gerald speaks only English, as does our daughter, Meaghan.

I grew up in northern Ontario and attended a french immersion school.  This is a school for anglophone children where they are submerged in the French language.  Along about grades 2 or 3, you end up with a child who is bilingual.

I continued on in french until high school when I attended an English school.

Mike was also in french immersion until grade 5 when we moved and put him in an English school.  At this point however, he was already bilingual and we've both kept our french.

We speak to each other occasionally in french, but because Gerald and Meaghan are both English-only speakers, we continue to speak English primarily.

Now you may wonder why we didn't choose to put Meaghan in french immersion as well.  I regret the fact that we didn't.  I really wish we had.  But it boils down to the same reason we took Mike out of french.  When we moved to this house, there were no french immersion schools within walking distance.  Simple - geography.

Meaghan will be in grade 4 next year and will begin french lessons in school.  At that point, Mike and I will both be speaking a lot more french in the house, because I want her to gain as much french, and have as much exposure to french as possible.  I guess that's my guilt speaking and me trying to make up for the mistake of not putting her in immersion from day 1.

As for Gerald.

I really think there are some people in this world who cannot learn a second language.  Seriously.  I speak 2 and am learning a third, Mike speaks 2, Meaghan is learning Spanish and French with me (even though she sometimes gets the two confused - she'll say oui or si).  Gerald...  poor Gerald can't seem to retain anything he learns in languages.  Or so he says.  The past 2 times we were in Mexico, he picked up as much Spanish as I did, but refuses to admit it.

So, maybe he's lazy.  Maybe he lacks confidence.  Could be anything.  

We are a bilingual house - or at least half the house is - but we continue to speak English predominantly.  Why?  I really think it's laziness.  It's just easier to speak the language we all understand and speak easily, instead of challenging ourselves to learn.  Maybe I should quit speaking English all together and force Gerald and Meaghan to learn a little more!

Racial healing?

Yes, Obama won and is the president elect in the States.

I'm not big on politics - Canadian or American.

I'm pleased that he won though. He's a fantastic speaker, and I really believe he's got his head in right place. He wants positive change, and he's got a lot of work to do. Repairing international relationships, the economy, the war, the list goes on. I probably would have voted him too, if I were American.

On the MSN website, like every other website today, the presidential election is on the first page. So I read it. One woman had this to say:

"It will be the beginning of racial healing in the country."

Will it? Just because the president is a black man?

I had to go back and read her statement three or four times.

Yes, I think a bright, educated, eloquent black man leading the States will be an incredible role model for young black men and boys all over the world. How couldn't he be? But I just don't see how Obama being president is going to be the beginning of racial healing.

There will always be crazy white supremacists walking the streets, there will always be holy wars, racial slurs and lines drawn in the sand between races. Do I like it? Certainly not.

I believe all races to be equal, with the only dividers being money, geography and opportunity. I am a white Canadian woman, and no better than anyone else on this planet. I don't identify myself as "white", "woman" or "Canadian". I'm a PERSON. Just like you and you and you.

I would love to see racial healing, but I don't think Obama's got the power to erase the pain and memories. It's certainly a step in the right direction, but unfortunately, I don't think there will ever be a time - at least in my lifetime - where race doesn't play a part in society at large.

Weird weather

So strangely enough, we're having really beautiful weather.  This is the weather we should have had in September and early October instead of early November.  It's warm, sunny with blue skies.  Not right now of course, because it's after 7pm, but during the day, it's been beautiful.

And to make it even sweeter, this is supposed to last throughout the week!!  Hoorah!  Finally something positive to post about!

October/November weather here in southern Ontario can be a bit on the bizarro side.  I remember a few Halloweens where I sat on the front step handing out candy, in a t-shirt while sipping a glass of wine.  But I also remember some where the poor kids had 18 layers of clothing stuffed under their costumes, making them all look like extremely fat little versions of whatever they were supposed to be.

My daughter loves Halloween, which is the exact opposite of me.  I hate it with a passion.  What's worse than sending your kids out - the same kids you nag not to eat crap all the time, to brush their teeth really, really well - and then encouraging them to fill entire pillow cases with snack crap full of sugar??  Well, I know its fun, but really - I'm not a supporter.

Anyway, at the tender age of 8, she seems to have shed her girlie-girl ways, wanting to dress up like princesses and pop stars, and decided she wanted to go out like a dead man.  

A dead man, Megs?

Yes mom, a dead man.

So we raided Ger's closet, found a shirt and tie, put her hair up in a hat, did up her face to look 'dead' and off she went with her little friends, returning only when she couldn't stuff one more halloween sized Coffee Crisp into her bag.  (The only acceptable thing about Halloween are bite-sized Coffee Crisp bars.  They make me really happy!)

What she really enjoyed though was that she didn't have to have a winter coat on over her costume, or underneath it for that matter.

I so wish this weather would stick around, but I know better.  Pretty soon we're going to pay for our "Indian summer".

The Death of Common Sense

This is one of my favourite things that gets passed along through emails. It's also something that makes me crazy because it's so true.

_________________________________________________________________

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
* Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
* Why the early bird gets the worm;
* Life isn't always fair;* and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are incharge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned butoverbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion!!!!!????

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault..

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust his wife, Discretion his daughter, Responsibility his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

* I Know My Rights
*I Want It Now
* Someone Else Is To Blame
* I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

What community?

So the other day it was raining (what the hell else is new), and so I was watching episodes of various shows from HGTV on my laptop. I found this show I've never seen before where people who are considering buying a house get to stay in the house for 24 hours to "test drive" it. Great concept!

So this one episode features a Canadian family from Toronto who have moved to California for work, have been searching for a house somewhere in the $750-850,000 mark (GASP!). During the show, the family takes a little walk through the community to see what it's like.

As I'm watching, they're commenting on the sense of community of the place, the little cafes, small mom and pop shops etc, which brings me back to why I hate the city I live in.

It's a mid-sized city of about 500,000 people. We're central to a ton of other places, but there's no "neighbourhood" feeling here. There's aren't any little cafes (just Tim Horton's), no mom and pop shops to speak of (big box stores abound however) and no feeling of community. The people on our street don't talk to each other, never mind socialize.

Why do people want to live like this?? I just don't get it.

Which made me think back to our stay in Playa this summer, where I had these great little conversations with a corner store owner every day. I think I spoke to him more in one week that I've ever spoken to a store owner around here! Sad, sad, sad.

What's happened to our lives that we're too busy/private/cautious/guarded/unable/unwilling to speak to people? Where has the sense of "community" and "neighbourhoods" gone???

Meh. Just pisses me off. It really does. For all people say, we could learn a lot from the everyday Mexican people. Is it time to move yet?

Random thoughts

The past little while I feel like I've got Bipolar Disorder. Up one day and down the next. Ugh. I know though, that I'm just incredibly stressed these days by a number of things going on, and that someday things will settle down and I'll be fine. You may have noticed by the topics I've been posting.

Anyway. While I was in the shower this morning, I got to thinking. I do a lot of thinking in the shower. It's a good place to stop and think.

I love the Playa del Carmen area, and could see us living there very happily. Real estate is expensive, but airfair is cheaper.

But then again, I'm so intrigued by the history and architecture etc of the Mazatlan area. Real estate is cheaper, but air fare is much more expensive.

Maybe someday we can afford to go to Mazatlan and check out that area.

Hmmm.... Food for thought.

Another though -

I have one more teacher's college application to fill out. I know very well that I haven't got a chance in hell of being accepted at this particular university, but I'd feel like I was cheating if didn't send in my application stuff anyway.

There is a school in Buffalo where I can apply as well if none of the schools I've applied to accepts me.

Another -

Sitka (Mike and Cynthia's pooch) found her way home, and I wonder if our beloved Chorney was up there in heaven guiding Sitka along her path and keeping an eye out on her. Regardless, I'm so happy that she's been brought home. What a great community in Guaymos!

Stuck in the house

Well, the end of October is fast approaching and winter is quickly barreling down upon us.  Another day of being cooped in the house.  It's still early in the "stuck in the house" season too.

It's cold, grey, really windy.  Most of the leaves have fallen off the trees and are laying in big, wet, soggy heaps on people's lawns.  They're too wet to even rake up.  

No one is outside.  These days you don't see anyone outside other than those running from their car into the house/store/mall/bank/whatever and back again.  No one is out walking, there are no kids out playing, the streets are bare.

Ger knows how badly I want out of here; how much I hate it here.  He's such an optimist that he tries to make everything sounds so much better than it really is.  So I asked him if he'd like to go out for a nice long walk, maybe a find a cafe and sit outside with a coffee.  If it's so bloody great, why not???

First of all, we don't have cafes here.  This is not a city of culture here.  We have 4 million Tim Horton locations instead.  You can go and sit inside and drink from cups made from carton, or from cheap, beige, chipped mugs.  You have the pleasure of being served by cranky teenagers making minimum wage, pissed at having to work there, but willing to do it so they can pay for those 200$ designer jeans.  You rarely get the coffee you asked for.  Ask for milk, they forget and put cream in it.  Ask for sugar, and it's either not in the cup, or all sitting at the bottom because said teenager was too lazy to stick a spoon in the cup and stir it.  If you're like me and drink decaf, you'll be lucky if there's a pot made, and if not, teenager with attitude will ask you if you want a regular coffee instead.  If I wanted a regular coffee I wouldn't have asked for decaf, you moron.  Once you're done, you can run like hell back to your car, battling the wind, pelting rain or snow and throw yourself into your car where you hope the car will warm up before frostbite and hypothermia set in.

Yes, it's great to live here.

I know that once the snow starts, we'll be back to the circus-act we had last year, where my husband had to push my car not only out of the driveway, but down 2 streets out of the subdivision.  Seriously.  I'm stuck with this car.  It's a 2000 Crown Victoria.  It's one big ass car.  My mother was kind enough to give it to me when she bought her 4-wheel drive SUV.  It's drinks gas like an alcoholic sucks back booze.  The best part???  We can't get rid of it!  No will buy the damn thing because with gas at the price it's at, no one wants to spend their money on this gas-guzzling piece of crap.

So I'm stuck with this car I hate.  I need a part-time job to keep it in gas.

This car is also a rear wheel drive.  It sucks in the snow and on ice.  And, believe me, I'm a pretty good driver, having learned to drive in northern Ontario in 20 feet of snow and ice 15 inches thick.  My son is learning to drive, and there's no way I can let him get behind the wheel of this monstrosity of a car in winter because when he does and he gets into an accident, I'll be guilty because I knowingly let him get behind the wheel of my death-trap on 4 wheels.

So, what do we have to look forward to?  The next 5-6 months of being holed-up in our houses, furnaces running full time costing a small fortune, snow that at first looks all pretty and white, but quickly turns brown and dirty because of the sand and salt they spray everywhere so people don't go slip-sliding off the roads.  Constantly shoveling the mountains of snow - sometimes light and fluffy and other times heavy and so wet - until your back aches and blisters form on your hands.  

Yah winter!!!!  But through it all, Gerald will say "It could be worse."  Sure, it could be worse!  But it's pretty damn shitty none the less!  He says this to try to make me feel better, but it just pisses me off.  

Movies

In an effort to reduce monthly household costs, we got rid of all the extra channels on our satellite tv account and have gone with the no-frills package.  No Food Network, Comedy Channel, Hockey channel, HGTV..  none of it.  We get very few channels and very few options.  This is fine with me, because I'm not a big tv watcher anyway.  I have my favourites, All the Law & Order shows, the CSI shows, House Hunters International and.... well I guess that's about it.  

Speaking of CSI - THEY KILLED OFF WARRICK BROWN - the FINEST LOOKING MAN ON ANY TELEVISION SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION!!!!   ok...  I'm better now.

When I get the urge, and the time time, to actually watch something, I look for those shows, and if they're not on, I look for a movie to watch.

I don't like horror movies, although I do enjoy a good psychological thriller - you know the kind that messes up your brain for a few days.  

I love comedies.  Office Space is one of my favourites.  I'm hoping someone will buy me a red Swingline Stapler at some point in my life.

Liar Liar is still, after all these years, one of the silliest movies I've ever seen and gives me the giggles every time I think about it.

Evan Almighty and the fish in the aquarium scene cracks me up.

Some of the Star Trek movies are good for a laugh.

The Airplane movies are classics and speaking of Leslie Neilson,

The Pink Panther is a riot!

My favourite movie of all-time is Under the Tuscan Sun.  It's my favourite for a number of reasons, and all the ex-pats living in different parts of the world could relate.

It's about a successful author, Francis, who's husband cheats on her and wants a divorce.  After it's all settled, her best friend and her partner, who are lesbians, send Francis away on a vacation - a gay tour of Tuscany.

While in Tuscany, Francis ends up jumping off the proverbial ledge and buys a run down villa and never returns to the states.  She hires a group of Polish immigrants to fix up the house, and tries her luck at love all over again with Marcello, a guy who's on the same level of gorgeousness as Gary Dourdan.

The movie is about the re-discovery of herself, healing, taking chances, learning, experiencing and living.  

This movie makes me cry every time I watch it.  I watch Francis (Diane Lane) take the chance of her life, struggle, fall down, get up and shake herself off, learn to love again and in the end succeed by following her dreams.

I love happy endings!

Tanksgibbin

It was actually Thanksgiving, of course, but we've always given Trap the greyhound his own voice, and in Trap-speak, it's Tanksgibbin.

Thank God it's over. I mean, I love my family but seriously. Do we really need to eat that much food?

Ok. It's my fault since I'm the "cooker" for every holiday. But there's guilt about not having enough food so I cook more than we need.

Trap LOVES any holiday that has turkey attached to it as he's the receiver of the prized "turkey neck". He grabs it and high tails it to the back door waiting to be let out because he knows he's not allowed to mow down on it anywhere inside the house. Outside is the appropriate place for the slobber-fest that's going to take place.

Now, before anyone tells me that dogs shouldn't eat raw stuff, keep in mind that Trap is a greyhound of the racing variety, although retired, and has eaten a healthy supply of raw food since day 1. There's a huge population of greyhounds that eat nothing but a raw diet, and they're happy and healthy - usually more so than the kibble-fed greyhound population.

Anyway.

My aunt and uncle came from Timmins and it's always great to see them. I don't get to see them very often and I really enjoy their company. My uncle had a stroke a few years back so he's not 100% clear all the time, but he's still got his great personality.

My mother came with the beast from hell. That would be Ginny, her Yorkshire Terrier. I am NOT a little dog person. Ginny has bottom teeth that stick out, so her two bottom canines protrude giving her this demonic look. She used to run up behind Trap and chew his back legs until Trap finally stepped on her trying to get away. She's hasn't done it since. Instead she runs around the house, vaulting herself onto furniture regardless of whether someone happens to be occupying it or not.

My in-laws came too. They don't exactly fit in with my family. We are loud, outspoken, hand-waving, politic-talking, religion-bashing (at times) people who quite often debate issues in a heated manner. My in-laws are extremely quiet, simple people. They're not up-to-date on politics or world events. Their lives pretty much revolve around who won the hockey game, who's playing in the CFL (that would be the Canadian Football League - the Hamilton Ti-Cats are our contribution to the league here in Hamilton), who died, old cars, and their walk to Herbie's (the local grocery/drug/dollar/parephenalia store).

So while my family is trash-talking the political leaders, debating religious views (my family are Anglicans [praticing and not], in-laws are Catholic [devout]), screaming over wars and news stories, these two meak, not very informed people sit and stare at us like we've just landed our little spaceships on the front lawn and are in the process of speaking in beeps and blips.

Makes for kind of an uncomfortable evening at times. Why? Because I have guilt that they're not "getting" what we're talking about. And they rarely do. My husband will have quiet side conversations with them keeping them entertained while the rest of us carry on. To explain things simply, they just haven't had the experiences in their lives that afford them knowledge. They never travelled, never changed jobs, never got involved in anything besides card games. They've been rather uninformed their entire lives, and prefer to gossip about people they know and try to out-do their own family members. Who has the most expensive car, who has the newest dish-washer.. well, you get the point.

Anyway. One of my cousins came as well which was great. We don't see him very often even though he only lives about 30 minutes away. And, he brought a bottle of red wine. Need I say more?

So after the turkey, the roast, mashed potatoes, baby carrots, roasted asparagus, candied sweet potatoes, spinach au gratin, perogies, dessert and a few bottles of wine were gone, it was over again until Christmas. Trap can't wait!

Thanks

I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who posted and emailed sending good wishes along. I really appreciate it. That was a horrible time for us, and although I'm not going to get into specifics, things are slowly starting to look a little brighter.

I'm in the midst of filling out applications for teacher's college for the 09 intake. They're far more complicated than they need to be. My cousin, who teaches high school, came over last night and he couldn't believe how tedious they are now. Serves me right for waiting until I'm almost 40 to do this. Hindsight - well, you know what they say.

I'm missing Mexico like crazy, especially now that the weather is going downhill. This week has been cold, windy and rainy. Yesterday morning was only +4 degreees celcius. Yuck! Nasty, cold, disgusting weather. This weekend is supposed to be nicer, but these weather people lie a lot, so I believe nothing until I actually see it.

Regardless of the fact that I DESPISE winter, I have to admit that fall in Canada is a wonder to behold. The turning of the leaves in this part of Canada is legendary, and you'd be a liar if you saw it and said you weren't impressed. I'm going to try to take some pictures next weekend, and I'll be sure to post them here for you to see. (I'm sure Cancun Canuck, if she's reading, will appreciate them, but not necessarily miss it! LOL)

I've been keeping up on everyone's blogs even though I admit that I sometimes find them depressing in my own way. They're all written by people who have set out and done exactly what I want to do so badly. I read about their new lives, exploring and experiencing, and I conitnue to lead the same life day after day. I'm so proud of all of you who took the plunge and made it successful! I haven't given up though.... I just have to figure out the "how" and the "when".

Tired

Sometimes life just comes out of nowhere and kicks you straight, flat out in the ass, and then if that wasn't enough, it just sucks whatever is left right out of you.

This is a bit of a rant, pity-party, bitch session, poor me whine, just so we're clear.

Life has been pretty good lately.  Not great, but okay.  We've been happy enough I guess.  Sometimes we struggle with things, but we usually land on our feet.  We will this time too eventually, but we've had such a set-back today that I feel like I've had the wind kicked out of me and now I need to go throw up and cry in a corner.

I won't go into specifics, but I've had a good long cry tonight.  I don't feel any better, but I know that tomorrow is another day and life goes on.

So what's the fall-out from all of this?  The trip we had planned for January or February isn't going to happen.  Not much is going to happen.

All of our saving and every inch of credit is gone.  We have no room to maneuver at al.  I'm trying so hard to be positive but my head hurts, my heart has sunk as far as it can go.

I keep smiling for my kids.  I can't let them know.  I can't let them worry.  It's not their job.  It's mine.

I'm tired.  My spirit is tired.  My energy is depleted.  I'm so tired.  I'm sad and defeated and I can't keep up.

Never enough time...

Wow, you can tell school is back in! I keep meaning to update this blog, but I never seem to get the chance. I just can’t figure out why with working full time, school at night, parenting, etc I just can’t find the time! Wonder Woman I am not.

This is my last year in my undergraduate degree studies. It’s been such a long, long haul. I’m delighted to see the proverbial “light” at the end of the tunnel. I remember when I started it seemed like an insurmountable challenge, and here I am at the end.

This semester is relatively easy with just one course. Due to scheduling problems, I’ve ended up with the worst schedule I’ve ever seen. Other people are grimacing and offering condolences when they hear about it. My son has already warmed his friends that mom is going to “grummmpay” in January. I can even see my sex life going down the tubes much to my husband’s dismay….

As I said, this semester is good. One class. I’ve always taken 2 classes per semester which was a good balance. However, with this being my last year, my course choices were really limited. After 2 weeks of trying to work things out in the best way possible, I ended up with 3 classes in second semester. That means that I’ll be at school 3 nights per week as well as one morning, which I’ll have to take off as unpaid time. That’s 4 days a week, with a 45-minute drive each way.

The only positive note is that come April, I will have a bachelor’s degree.

My current challenge is applying to teacher’s college for the 2009 intake. I’m in the process of getting all my papers in order to apply. The deadline is November 28th, and I won’t find out if I’ve been accepted anywhere until April of 2009. That’s one heck of a long wait.

Helping out the Peanut Pet Shelter in Playa

The Peanut Pet Shelter, run by generous people, Andy and Jen, works tirelessly to find loving homes for the many homeless dogs and cats of Playa del Carmen. They provide shelter, medical care, spay and neutering, food and search for loving people to adopt these sweet animals into their homes.

Finding the money to fund this kind of operation takes countless hours, energy and a huge amount of dedication.

American Express is offering up tons of money for organizations needing money and the Peanut Pet Shelter was accepted as a competitor!

To help, you can visit the link below and nominate the Peanut Pet Shelter as a deserving organization. Once you follow the link, you do have to register as a guest, however it only takes a minute and just imaging how much this money would benefit all the homeless animals in Playa!

http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/LHHZO5

Please take a few moments and help out by nominating the Peanut Pet Shelter! The animals, along with Andy and Jen thank you!

Could I do it?

You betcha.  I definitely could live here.  

However, as I read different boards on the internet, I see how easily other people make friends and chat with others around them.  I read about one guy who went to Java Joe's near here, sat down beside a local guy, started up a conversation and they have been friends since.  How does that happen?  How do people do that?

I admit, I'm a little on the shy side.  I don't easily just strike up conversations with people.  That is definitely one of my weak points.  Gerald is worse at that than I am.  He's shy, but doesn't admit it.  Not shy in the sense that he can't walk up to someone and ask a question, but shy making friends.  

I wish we could walk into a room and just be open and have people want to know us, but we're just not those people.  We're us.  Quieter, more reserved, but fun, funny, fun-loving, smart people.

Anyway, back to the original intent of this post.  I got a little sidetracked there.

Could I live here?  I think I could.  I love the beauty of this area.  I love the trueness of the people.  There are no pretensions, no false airs.  These people are mexican, this is the way they are.  They work hard, smile and say Hola, they do what they need to do to survive.  I admire them.  

I love the language.  I'm not good at it; I know words, but can't put them together in a sentence.  But I love to listen to them.  I love the sounds they make, the richness of the words as they roll of their tongues in a long stream of syllables that seem to have no beginning or end.

I love the food.  What's not to love???  

I admire then men and women working in this sweltering heat and humidity, building buildings, and working at their jobs to feed their families. 

I love the challenge of going to the store and trying to find what I need, struggling through the spanish language and differences in products.

I feel like I'm thinking and feeling, watching, listening, learning.  I don't feel like I do at home in Canada where everything is so easy.  I know everything.  I know where to find everything.  I can get whatever I need without really having to work at it.  I go to school and learn, but I don't learn about life during my everyday life.  I take it all for granted.

Gerald went to the grocery  store by himself yesterday.  He speaks absolutely no spanish.  He did it!  He got there, he shopped, he found what he needed, he figured out how to get what he was there for, he paid and he came back.  That seems like such a small thing, but when you think about it, it's a huge accomplishment.  He's in a foreign country and doesn't speak the language, but he learned and was successful.

Could he live here?  He could and he'd love it.  He'd grow as a person.  He just doesn't really see that yet.  He's sees things as being frustrating at times, instead of as a challenge and opportunity to learn and experience.  

Mike was frustrated the first day by the language barrier.  Yesterday he went into a shop and bought something by himself, between his very limited knowledge and the store clerk's broken English, they managed to make the transaction.  I'm proud of him.

It's these little things that my family are doing while we're here that makes this trip so worthwhile.  For some people, a vacation in Mexico is about the beaches and the bars.  And yes those things are great.  But, for me, it's the opportunities that are presented that make it meaningful.  I'll always remember Gerald's first trip to the Mega on his own.  How silly!  

The possibilities are endless here! 

In Playa del Carmen

Hi everyone!

Well, we're here in Playa and loving it.  This really was the best thing for all of us after losing Chorney.  We're just having such a good time that we've hardly had a chance to miss her.

It's funny how things work, you know.  Mike (my son) and I were wading around in the ocean yesterday and he starts talking all about real estate here, about how you could start by buying one condo, renting it out, saving the money to buy a second condo, and go from there.  It was a good conversation - we covered infrastructure, economy, finances etc. 

It was an interesting conversation because of all the family, he was the one who was most convinced that I'd lost my marbles for wanting to move here.  He was the one who rolled his eyes, laughed, tried to dissuade me with comments about crime and corruption, told people that I was crazy, and here he is telling me that he could definitely live here.  What a change of attitude that was!

Anyway, we're here and loving it.  Playing on the beach, in the ocean, in the pool, strolling along 5th Ave in the evenings, eating local food from hole in the wall places, and being a family.  These are the best times!

Bittersweet

We are leaving for Detroit today.  We'll stay overnight and then catch our flight tomorrow morning for Cancun and then head for Playa.  We're all excited and more than ready to go.  Last  night we had to put Chorney, our beautiful German Shepherd, to sleep.  The mood around the house for the past few days has been sad to say the least.  I seem to burst into tears at the oddest moments.

Chorney suffered from Progressive Myelopathy.  This disease is more common in large breed dogs, and most common in Shepherds.  The information highway between the brain and the spine degenerates, leaving the dog with the inability to know where their back end is, what it's doing and what's going on with it.  It's 'progressive' because it moves up the spine from the tail, and eventually takes over the back legs, bowels, bladder, and then the other organs.  In the past few days, Chorney had lost the ability to walk almost completely.  There was no fun in her life.  It was time to let her go.

I'm so thankful to have had her for 13 wonderful years.  She was such a tropper.  She was our security guard, our playmate, our friend, a part of our family.  The house is so strange without her here.

This trip couldn't be coming at a better time.  We all have something else to focus on, and what better than a trip to beautiful Playa.

Rest in peace, baby girl.  You'll be in our hearts forever.

8 Days and Counting

Our trip to Playa has really kind of crept up on us. I remember thinking "We still have 9 weeks before we go" and here we are at 8 days. Time flies! I mean seriously. This whole summer has just whipped by so far. Maybe I should stop wishing Monday to Friday away...

We've been mentally checking things off our to-do list, and list is getting rather short now. I'm sure there are other things we'll have to do, but these are the ones that are foremost on my mind right now.

• Buy US money
• Stock up on sun screen
• Find a kennel for Chorney
• Ask Meaghan's friend's mom if they will look after the hamster
• Get Meaghan new flip flops
• Finish reading my book for school so I can read something that I WANT TO READ!

I got a great list of cheap places to eat in Playa from http://www.playa.info/index.html . We're not rich and since there are 4 of us going this time we need to find ways of cutting down on costs while we're there. One of the wonderful members on the board had compiled an 8 page list of restaurants, mercado's, taco carts etc. I've printed it off and put it with the other info type stuff I'm bringing with us.

I've been in touch with the owners of the Plantation House, and recieved all the information needed from them. I'm looking forward to meeting them! She is from France and by coincidence, he is originally from a city about 30 minutes from here, which is where I lived when I first moved down here from northern Ontario. They seem like really nice, genuine people.

I found a webcam located at Playa Palms Beach so I've been watching the people go by on and off throughout the day. This morning I saw a guy taking a picture of 7 empty beach chairs. Why, I don't know... Seems like an odd thing to take pictures of, but that's just me. I would have turned around and taken a picture of the ocean!

This will probably be our last trip until after I finish teacher's college. There just won't be any money leftover for trips until I finish and actually start teaching, so we'll have to make the most of this one! I know that in about 3 or 4 months I'll be wanting to go again. Just have to keep myself in check and be responsible. Being responsible sucks.

Letting Go

My son is 18 now. Where the time has gone, I can't say. I remember giving birth to him, bringing him home from the hospital, watching him grow and being so incredibly proud of him as he tackled new things, made accomplishments, learned a new language, played sports, excelled... well, the list goes on.

He has decided to go up to nothern Ontario to spend a week with his dad. This isn't anything new - he's been doing this for the past 15 years.

In the past though, his father and I have both driven and met half-way to hand him off (it's about a 10 hour drive there and back for each of us). The past few years, I've taken him into Union Station in Toronto, bought his train ticket and seen him safely on the train, not leaving until it had pulled out of the station.

This morning, I took him into Burlington and dropped him off at the Go Station, the commuter train that runs through southern Ontario and has it's hub at Union Station in Toronto, where he will buy his ticket for the eleven hour journey and make his way through the crazy, bustling train station.

He's navigating on his own this time. I'm not there to make sure that he manages to find the right counter, buy his ticket, and find the platform to board his train.

The train pulls out at 8:40 - that's in 11 minutes. He's got his cell phone, and I've already texted him twice to make sure that everything is going ok. Neurotic? Maybe. But no matter his age, he's still my baby and this is the first time he's doing this on his own without me to guide him and make sure he's safe.

I won't rest until he lets me know that he's on the train and underway and that he's safe.

This parenting stuff is hard.

The Weather and Me

With our departure date for Playa fast approaching, someone at work asked me, "Aren't you afraid to travel down there with tropical storm Dolly around? What if something happens while you're there? What if there's a (gasp) ... HURRICANE!"

I kind of chuckled. Maybe I have more balls than a lot of people, braver, less concerned... I don't know. Whatever it is, I'm just not afraid of weather. Don't get me wrong - I have a very healthy respect for Mother Nature, but I'm not about to run and hide from her, living my life in a bubble.


I find nothing more awesome and beautiful than a huge thunderstorm complete with thunder and lightning. Would I go stand in the middle of the street in bare feet toting a big metal pole? Of course not. But I'll stand under a safe roof, watching and listening with fascination, appreciating nature and all it's power with wonder.


I guess that some northerners are afraid of the "unknown". We don't get hurricanes, cyclones, tropical storms or things of that nature. We have had a few weak earthquakes in this area along with a few smaller tornadoes, but nothing of any real concern. Us northerners live in a relatively safe area, free from the serious weather dangers experienced in other parts of the world. But I seriously doubt that Mother Nature is going to keep me from going where I want and experiencing life.


I looked at my friend today, and felt a little sorry for her. I felt sorry that she's got these fears that hold her back from enjoying and experiencing life. The beauty of Mexico is well worth the miniscule risk!

It's been a month already???

Wow! It's been a month since I posted anything. How time flies.....

Let's see. Updates.

The vet visit went well with the dogs. Barkey McBarker (aka Chorney the geriatric shepherd) received a fairly clean bill of health. The urine sample never materialized, even after 40 minutes of stalking her in the backyard armed with surgical gloves and a urine specimen cup. I was ready to dive everytime it looked like she was going to pee, but alas.... Nothing. She wouldn't even pee when the vet tech took her outside at the office! However, there's been no more blood in her blood that we can see, so we're just leaving things alone. Her back end is failing miserably now though. Her back paws are knuckling under at times and she's unable to climb the stairs up of the back deck, and relies on someone to carry her up. This is pretty hard for me since she weighs 80 pounds, but we're managing. Sad to think that she just won't be around much longer.

Trap (the greyhound) weighed in at a whopping 87 pounds - the heaviest he should be while remaining at a healthy weight. Too bad he's so damn lazy or he might be able to shed a few of those pounds. The vet wanted to kidnap him. It's hard not to fall in love with this big red boy....

We splurged and bought a new trailer. I haven't taken any pictures of it, but I'll post some when I do. I absolutely love it. We have had a trailer parked permanently in a park about 40 minutes from home, and we love being there. We spend pretty much every weekend there between April and October. Our little home away from home. Our old one was just not big enough. It's one thing when you're just using it a few days here and there, but the place really is another home for us and we were pretty cramped. I can't wait to show you guys pictures!!!

Our departure date for Playa del Carmen is fast approaching and we're all getting pretty excited. I've been thinking of buying one of those portable DVD players for our daughter to watch on the plane. The plane ride is going to be long and boring for her, so this would give her something to do. Quite frankly I can easily sleep for the entire flight, but I doubt she will!

If everything goes well and she enjoys it (I can't see how she wouldn't, but who knows...) we might make this a yearly thing once I've finished teacher's college.

There's been absolutely no more discussion on relocating to Mexico. I'm not pushing it. We've got a long time before we make any decisions anyway. For right now I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this trip. 3 weeks to go!!!

Not much to blog about these days

Life has been relatively quiet the past little while. I haven't had anything earthshattering to write about, so I've kept busy reading everyone else's blogs.

I've read about some delicious Thai recipes from Theresa - http://theresainmerida.blogspot.com/

Learned about the Beach Recovery Plan from Cancun Canuck - http://www.cancuncanuck.com/

Kept up with the life of Brenda and Roy - http://brendandroygoingtomexico.blogspot.com/

Ogled more pictures on Nancy's Blog - http://countdowntomexico.blogspot.com/ and enjoyed stories on their day to day lives.

And, of course, I've been completely caught up in the adventures of Cindy and Mike - http://cintia-y-miguel.blogspot.com/

There are a ton more blogs I read but these are just a few of the regulars. If you haven't checked them out, then shame on you, you should!

How the hell am I supposed to do that????

On Thursday, I have bring the puppers, Trap and Chorney, to the vet's for their annual rabies, heartworm test, etc, etc. Chorney, the geriatric shepperd also needs a check up because we found blood in her urine.

Now, keep in mind that Chorney is over 13 yrs old and has been really very healthy her entire life. What we are dealing with lately is a back end that is just giving out on her. Although she still has control over her bladder, she regularly pops turds wherever she may happen to be. It's not her fault. She doesn't even know she's doing it. We just deal with it, and clean up behind her. She's earned that much. She's also very weak in her back end and has trouble walking, climbing stairs, and getting up from a down position.

So when I told the vet's office that I was concerned about the blood in her urine, she asked me to pop by and pick up a "urine specimen cup".

Pardon me?

Yes, a urine specimen cup for my pooch.

I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to get this accomplished. This regal old girl likes her privacy, and having my hand shoved under her "parts" while she's attending to business isn't going to go over well with her.

Wish me luck everyone!

Bugs in the Sink

These dudes really bother me.  Every summer they're around the house, lurking in tubs and sinks, just waiting to scare the bejeesus out of me.  

After a long, quiet winter of safety from these multi-legged forms of terror, I found one in the kitchen sink this morning.

I was by myself.

No one could help me.

I had to kill it myself.

This reminded me of another murderous attempt on my part, that failed horribly.  Here's the story.  My entire family laughs and guffaws every time someone brings it up.

The scene:

I'm alone in the house.  (Insert scary music here)  I'm completely nekkid in the bathroom, getting ready to have a shower.  The water is on, and I'm ready to get in.

I pull the shower curtain back and.........  THERE IT IS!!!!

I reel back in horror, my hands and legs are shaking.

IT'S IN THE TUB!  ALL 900 LEGS!!!  (Ok, so they don't have 900 legs, but it sure felt like it at the time.)

What do I do?????  OH GOD!  WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!!!!

I have to act fast otherwise it will run away and I won't know where it's gone.

The Plan:

If I unroll about 40 feet of toilet paper, I think to myself, that should be enough to squish it while keeping it safely away from my skin.  It's a good plan. 

Action:

I pull on the toilet paper, and reams and reams of it fall to the floor.  I gather it up, take a deep breath ready to face my fear.  I know I can do this.  It's only a bug right??

I whip back the shower curtain again, stab at the creature, missing.  I reload, and stab out again, this time covering his body in toilet paper.  I grab and squish.  SQUISH!!!!  Make sure the little bugger is good and dead!

I pull up the lid on the toilet and throw the mound of toilet paper in, slamming the lid back down and flushing.

By this time, I'm sweating.  My heart is pounding and I'm feeling faint.

But wait!  I won!  I did it!  I killed the bug, and flushed his body!  I can have my shower now!

Everything is good, and I'm feeling great!  I have a nice, long shower, enjoying my new found sense of freedom.  I've faced the enemy and won.

Until.....

My husband comes home, and I rush out to tell him how brave I was.  How I looked into the centipede's eyes and crushed him.  I was brave, strong.  Husband laughs and goes into the washroom to do his business.  I hear laughing.  The door opens and he calls me in.

He points into the toilet, and the centipede is sitting on top of the blob of toilet paper that didn't go down on the first flush, and he's staring at me.  Ugh.

I hate those centipedes.

Canada - Land of the Free - My rant for the week

Ya right.

I'm so annoyed today.  I went to the gas station to put gas in the car, which I'd like to point out cost me $78.00!!!!!!!!!!!!  ($129.9 CAD per litre)

Something didn't look right.  Things just didn't look the same.  I know.  Where have all the cigarettes gone????

Oh.  I see.  Hidden.  We're not allowed to look at them.

Dirty, disgusting, nasty things.  (This is sarcasm.  I know it's hard to translate that into writing, so I'm just letting you know.)

I can look at scantilly clad women plastered on the front on magazines.

I can watch pornography on my television.

I can use poorly maintained, filthy public restroom.

I can listen to youths cursing like truckers at every turn.

I can go to my son's high school and buy any kind of drug I want.

But, I can't look at the cigarettes in the store.  Nevermind, that the Canadian public pays between 8-12 dollars for a PACK of cigarettes.

CTV News Story

Apparently, this is going to save lives.  Right.  I can see the logic there.  (This is more sarcasm)

I soon won't be able to talk on my cell phone while I'm driving.

The Star

Young kids can drive around with their music so loud I can hear them from a mile away, and the base so loud that their trunks are practically popping open.

They allow 90 year olds to continue to drive while they mosey down the 4 lane highways at 50 km/hr, and bump into curbs, run lights, back out without looking.

I can use the inside lane on the 401 ONLY if I have a 2nd passenger in the car.  Otherwise, I'm relegated to using the lanes where the morons are weaving in and out of traffic, tailgating and cutting people off.

But as a responsible, courteous, safe driver with an absolutely clean driving record after nearly 20 years of driving, I won't be able to use my phone while I drive.

We can't drive anywhere, because it costs too damn much for gas anyway, but the government says they can't do anything to alleviate the rising costs, even though the taxes paid on gasoline purchases is 30 something percent.

We pay taxes, upon taxes, upon taxes.  We pay a goods and service tax.  Add these 2 things together and pay 13% on everything we buy or pay for.  My paycheck is cut in half thanks to the amount of taxes I pay.

If someone breaks into my house and falls down and hurts themselves, I can be sued.

My neighbors can complain to the city if my hedge is too bushy, my dog barks, if my fence isn't high enough, if my pool isn't secured.

If I die, my family will have to pay a DEATH TAX.  Yes, you're taxed when you die.  Will they be able to afford to bury me?  Pay taxes on me for the next few years after my death?

Thanks to my husband's medical insurance plan, I can buy my medications for 80% of the cost, only if the insurance company decides that whatever I need is on their list of "covered" drugs.

I can put a hot tub in my back yard, only if the city tells me I can.  For this priviledge I have to pay for a permit, and follow their rules.

Yes, Canada is a great country.  Or was, at least.

I'm certainly not free.  I'm not free to do anything.  My freedom is being stripped away piece by piece, bit by bit.  We as Canadians are so passive, that we just sit around and shrug, folding our hands in our laps, and smiling while we take it up the tail pipe.

I'm frustrated, obviously.  

I'm a middle class, well educated, responsible, law abiding citizen.  I pay my taxes like a good girl.  I go to work everyday, and pay through the nose for everything.  My children attend school and I teach them right from wrong.

But I can't look at cigarettes behind a counter in a store?????????

I can't use my cell phone when and where it pleases me????????

I can't afford to drive a days' distance because I'm being ripped off blind by my government????

I have to smoke on the sidewalk like some low life???????

I can't be trusted to determine a safe height for my fence?????

I can be held responsible for the safety and well being of a common criminal who decides to rob me?????

I have to put up with the rude, condescending behaviours and attitudes of our spoiled society???

If I put up a "Beware of Dog" sign, I'm admitting that I have a vicious dog???

I have to put up with uppity, stuck up, SUV-driving, soccer moms and their bratty, rude, out of control children???

Please.  Spare me.

You can have it.

On the mend with Sopa de Lima

Well I must be on the mend because yesterday I actually found the energy to make some soup as well as the enchilladas. I was really craving soup, so I looked up a recipe for sopa de lima, and thanks to Emerill Lagasse on the Food Network, I found one and cooked up a batch.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_34901,00.html

I've always wanted to try it, figuring that since I love lemon and lime, it would probably be something I'd like, and I sure wasn't disappointed! I may have overdone it with the lime a bit, so I just added more broth to even it out. The recipe called for mexican oregano, but all I had was regular stuff. I omitted the fried tortillas as well, but now I can see how they would compliment the soup nicely.

The other thing I found in the grocery store was masa harina. I'd love to try making my own tortillas, but I'd probably need a tortilla press. I'll have to do a little research and find out how they're made authentically. You can't find corn tortillas here pre-made in the stores unfortunately, so I've been using whole wheat for anything I need them for.

I don't fry them before making enchilladas, but I'd love to try that as well. I bet the flavour of a corn tortilla would be amazing after lightly frying!

So now I have yet another kitchen gadget that I want. I'm not sure where the heck I'll put it as my kitchen is loaded with toys already.

Shocking Food

Well, still suffering with this damn cold, although I feel better today than I did yesterday.  I couldn't really sleep the past 3 nights, but slept like a log from about 6:30 til almost 10 this morning.  I guess tomorrow I'll have to get my butt back to work.  Boooo.

I had a conversation with a friend on the weekend.  We were talking about our kids etc., and I mentioned that my oldest, Mike, is graduating from high school in June, and that we were taking the kids to Playa del Carmen for a week in August as a gift to him for his graduation.  She was shocked, and I mean SHOCKED that we weren't going to stay at a resort!  She was completely freaked out about the food!!  Horrified, would be a better description.

What's that about anyway?  Do they serve different food at the resorts?  Is the food for the resorts shipped in from Canada or the States??  The issue of food never crossed my mind as something that someone would be concerned about.  I mean, I know that fruits and veggies have to be soaked before eating them if they don't have a skin, but other than that, I didn't think there was anything wrong with the food.  She was concerned about the "freshness", which kind of made me giggle.  I've seen pictures of the mercado's and considering that as Canadians we eat a lot of produce shipped in from the states that has been picked far before it was ripe, freshness was never a concern of mine.

I know....  There are a lot of misconceptions and untruths, but I figured she'd be worried about crime, or drugs, or theft..  certainly not the food.

Speaking of which, I made enchilada's a few days ago, and Mike cannot wait to try some authentic mexican ones when we get there!

Only 8 (or so) more weeks to go!!!

Steve Irwin and his Crocs

The entire family has come down with the dreaded spring/summer head cold.  I hate having a cold.  Seriously.  I'm not a good sick person.

Anyway, we were out at our trailer this weekend, and yesterday we hung around laying in bed, watching TV, trying to get as much rest as we could to kick the bug.  While flipping through the stations, I recognized a clip of Cancun right away, and sure enough, it was Steve Irwin visiting Cancun and checking out the croc population and how they were managed by the government.  It was pretty interesting stuff - not only because it was Mexico, but I always liked watching him and his antics.  He had more balls that I ever will, that's for sure.  There was one part where the water went up and into a mall, and there were baby crocs living in the water.  Crazy!

So after Cancun, he moved on to Tampico, where he did much of the same stuff.  Just thought it was a cool show and I was so excited to see Mexico on tv!  (God, I'm a loser...  LOL)  Obviously, it doesn't take much to get me excited!  So now I'm off to look up Tampico on the internet as a "possible" to put on the list of places that might be good to live.  

Feels like fall in May!

About 5 yrs ago we bought a trailer, and it's parked permanently at a park about 40 minutes from home.  We love it!  It's like a vacation every weekend, and we have some great friends who camp out there as well.  We rarely ever miss a weekend between April and October.

Here in Canada it was May 2-4 weekend, or Victoria Day, or May Run weekend if you're from up north in Timmins.  I grew up calling it May Run, but none of these southern Ontario people know what I'm talking about when I call it that.  Whatever you call it, it's a long weekend, and who doesn't appreciate a long weekend and an extra day off work!!!!

Anyway, I actually took last Friday off and headed out a day early with Trap (the greyhound) and spent a nice quiet night curled up in bed watching tv, and a very relaxing Friday sitting out on the deck reading, before I headed back home to drop Trap off and pick up my daughter Meaghan.  Gerald didn't end up coming out until late Saturday afternoon, so Meaghan and I visited some friends.  She had a blast playing with her friends, and I had some drinks with my own girlfriends.   We discovered another drink which was really yummy - Grape juice from concentrate, Jamaican rum with ice blended in a blender.  That was one we'll be drinking this summer for sure! 

It was a great weekend, but MAN IS IT COLD!!!  It feels like fall here instead of spring or summer!  Last night the temperature went down to about 3 degrees (Celcius) and it rained all Saturday  morning, most of Sunday, and a lot of today as well.  Besides that, the wind is strong and freezing!!  I'm so envious of Cynthia and Mike as they're enjoying the warmth of Arizona on their way to DF!

On my way back out on Friday with Meaghan, we were cruising down highway 403 and a police cruiser pulled out behind me and turned his lights on.  I thought for sure that I was getting a ticket, but he cruised on by and pulled the guy who had been behind me over.  WHEW!!!  Stupid ass was driving way too fast, especially on a long weekend when you KNOW the cops are going to be out in full force patrolling the highways for speeders and drunk drivers.

All in all, it was a ton of fun.  Good drinks, great laughs and the best of friends.  Now BRING ON SUMMER DAMMIT!!!!!

Mis Perros

One thing I've been a little worried about is bringing the dogs to Mexico with us when we finally move. I've mentioned before that Chorney, our geriatric German Shepperd won't be around to make the trip. She's over 13 now.

Trap, the greyound, most likely will. He has just turned 5 in April and I hope he's around for a good long while. Elliott, who is our preadopted greyhound, is not yet one, and hasn't even started schooling for racing yet, so it will be a few years before he's ready to come home. Shorter if he's not a decent prospect. (Let's hope that's the case!!)

Anyway... I worry about the heat and how it will affect them. I see others have taken their dogs with no problem. Greyhounds however, have no isulating body fat and very little fur to protect them from the sun and heat.

If anyone has any experience with this, I'd sure love to know!!! Maybe I'll just have to make sure that they get their very own swimming pools!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Palabra de Mujer

I've been watching this show for a little over week, and unfortunately, I can only understand about 5% of what is going on.  I know that Matilde speaks WAY too fast, and she spends a lot of time being angry with who I think, is her boyfriend.

Lupe (at least I think that's his name) is Matilde's father, and he quit his trabajo because he was angry about something.  I get the impression that he doesn't approve of Matilde having a boyfriend, but I could be way off. 

This channel has some spanish programming, but they also have italian, portuguese etc.  I wish we had a channel dedicated to spanish language television!

According to my mother, who was a teacher, principle and specialist in early childhood development, tells me that the more I listen to it, the easier it will get to figure out where words begin and end.  She says that's the first step babies take in learning language, along with imitating sounds.  So, I keep listening, and I think the individual words are starting to be more distinguishable.  

I'm still listening to my cd's and working away at those.  It's slow progress because I keep going over the same cd's making sure that I have a good understanding of them before moving on to the harder ones.

I found out that community college here offers a Spanish for Beginners course, so Gerald and I will take it next summer.  He wanted to take it this winter, but with my classes for school I don't think I could fit another course in!!!  This coming fall/winter is my last year towards my degree!!!!

Today's Ramblings

So let me prefice this by saying that I'm not a health nut not.  I'm a little anal when it comes to what I put in my body, but I'm a smoker.  A health nut cannot, by definition, be a smoker right?  I also enjoy a few drinks on the weekends.

Anyway.  One thing I DO NOT ingest is caffeinated anything.  The odd time I get a caffeinated coffee at Tim Horton's by error, I get jumpy, shaky, I get heart palpitations and basically I feel like crap until it's worked it's way out of my body.  It's a horrible feeling.  

When I was about 3 yrs old, my tiny little scottish grandmother introduced me to tea.  Perfectly natural - when it was tea time, she'd make mine almost entirely warm water, milk, sugar and just a hint of tea.  I loved it.  When I was in high school, it was totally uncool to drink tea - everyone drank coffee, so began my love of coffee.

In the mid 90's I had to make some necessary changes, and one of them was to give up caffeine.  The whole anality (I don't think that's even a word, but it fits, so what the hell) over what I choose to eat and drink has been a gradual process, spurred on by health issues which I'll continue to battle until the day I die.

My coffee and tea choices these days are regulated by what come in a "decaf" format.  Coffee is easy.  As for tea, I've always had Orange Pekoe.  

My son, who is turning 18 in June, is a bit of a tea lover himself, and I've always insisted that he stick to decaffeinated products too.  Why get addicted to caffeine if you don't need to.

Last year he went on a school trip to Quebec City, and came home asking me to buy Earl grey tea.  I told him that when I found a decaf version I would.  

Last week I found a decaf Earl Grey and bought it for him.  Of course, being a good mother, I had to try it out to make sure it was worthy of him. 

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!  It's a much fuller tea, richer and deeper, with a hint of licorice.  I'm a convert.  After 36 years of drinking of orange pekoe, I'm now an earl grey convert.  I love that child.

Oh!

Here was something completely hysterical that my daughter did the other day.

In Canada, there is a daily paper called the SUN.  It's published in a few large cities, like Toronto and Calgary.  (My brother is actually a columnist for the Calgary SUN)

In the back of the paper, on Saturdays, they feature one scantilly clad young woman, usually in a bikini, posing, with a little bio included.  My husband happened to have this paper on the back seat of his car when he picked up our daughter (almost 8 yrs old).  She was flipping through the paper, and happened upon the Sunshine girl.

"DADDY!!! What is THIS????"  she said.

"It's just the Sunshine girl."

"But she's wearing nothing but a bikini!!!!"

"I know," Gerald relied.

"I'M TAKING THIS!" she yelled at him, and folded the paper up, and threw it in the trash as soon as she walked in the house.

Gotta love her!

What's with this?

Well, here's another depressing Blog.  Hopefully the last depressing one for quite some time.

One of the secretaries down the hall called in this morning.  Her 22 year old daughter's boyfriend found her dead on the couch last night.  He left her napping there when he went to work, and when he came back she was dead, still on the couch.  She was seemingly very healthy.  i can't fathom having to bury one of my children.  It's just inconceivable.

Another secretary down the hall had a call from her husband.  A friend of theirs who was going to retire at the end of the year had a stroke and died.  He was 55.  

The world can be such a cruel, hard place.  So much sadness and tragedy.  I listened to the news on the radio this morning while I got ready for work.  Now I remember why I stopped listening to or reading the news.  It's all bad, and it's repeated every 30 minutes for your listening pleasure.

After all this, people wonder why I want to fill my life with happy things, experiences and new adventures.  

Carpe Diem, I say.

Me and my books

I have this thing for books.  I absolutely love them.  It doesn't really matter what kind of book it is either.  Could be reference, fiction, cookbook, atlas, how-to, different time periods, non-fiction, even dictionaries and anthologies - whatever works for me.  Which makes me wonder...   When and if we ever get ourselves to Mexico, what am I going to do with all these books?

I can't see myself giving them away, although that would make the most sense.  There are some that I'd want to bring with me and some that I might consider giving to my son (who by the way is afflicted with the same problem).  

Wherever we went there would have to be an English library.  I would, of course, continue my love affair with Amazon as well.  But if we end up only being there for a year, that means that I'd have to curb my addiction for books, otherwise I'd end up trying to haul a bunch of new books back from Mexico to Canada.

Maybe I should have developed an addiction to something easier.....

Ups and Downs

The last little while has been full of 'em.  Ups and downs, arguments, excitement...  You name it.  It's been like an emotional roller coaster that has just drained me.

I have only told a handful of people about Mexico.  This is mostly because I'm terrified of their responses.  I don't want people to think that I'm some flaky chick making bad decisions, which some people are likely to think because they're completely uneducated about Mexico.

I think I mentioned that I told my mother, and she has refused to even acknowledge the fact that I mentioned it.  Either that, or she's forgotten.  I'm leaning towards refusing to acknowledge it though.

I told one friend who thought it was a pretty cool idea, but she hasn't said another word about it, and didn't mention it to her husband either.  These two are pretty good friends of ours.

I told another friend over email, and he thought it was really neat, but admitted it wasn't his cup of tea.  He was full of questions though, so at least I knew he was interested.

I told one friend at work, and she giggles, mostly because she knows me well enough to know that doing something like this is right up my alley.

Now for Gerald, the husband of note.

He stopped talking about it all together for quite a while.  Then when I'd say something, he had nothing positive to say at all.  Just lists of negatives that he spewed off.  Some were valid points, some were touching on the ridiculous.  We actually had a really big fight over it, and I haven't really spoken about Mexico since with him.  He's changed his tune somewhat, trying to convince me that he really does want to go.  He sends me links to interesting websites, makes comments and such, but I just don't know what to say to him when he brings it up.  

I'm upset about all of this.  What should have been a really cool and exciting time for us, filled with planning and talking, learning a new language together, and making decisions has become an unhappy, stress-filled, miserable time.  He says he wants to go, and I believe him to a certain point.  I don't know though how much he really wants to go, and how much of this is him saying he does because he knows how badly I want this.  He's looked into jobs, and done a bit of research.  I'm happy that he went that far.  His only two options would be selling time share real estate and teaching English.  He seems far more interested in the real estate part than teaching, which is probably a good thing.  He has years of sales experience behind him, although not in real estate.

He says he's happy to go for a year, and then who knows.  Maybe we'll come back, maybe we wont.  I'm not going to limit myself though.  If we want to stay, then why come back?  Who knows, maybe I'll want to come back and he won't.

One of his points was the language barrier.  My point was that the only language barrier that exists is him - he has ample time to learn the language with me.  He just chooses not to.  I see that as "his" language barrier.  

It's been a very frustrating time.  I want to believe him but I'm having a hard time with it.  

I'm looking forward to our week in Playa del Carmen this summer.  I'm hoping that being there, even if it's only for a week, will open his eyes a little.  I know he'd love living there, but he's focusing so strongly on the things that scare him, instead of the things that he'd love.  He says he'd miss a lot of things.  But so would I!  Is that any reason to sacrifice trying new things?  Not in my eyes, but I know everyone is different.

I know this posts is going left and right and up and down and sideways.  I'm just writing whatever happens to come to mind, so bear with me.....

Sad news brings reminders

I'm quite active on a greyhound forum, and have been for about 3 years.  I found out today that one of the members, who was only in her thirties, died unexpectedly of a brain aneurism.  What sad, horrible news.  My heart goes out to her husband and hounds who have to go on without her.  She was an incredibly generous, caring and compassionate woman, who always had time for everyone.

Her passing is another reminder of just how short life is.  We never know how brief our time here may be, and so we should remember to make the most of it.  Live passionately, happily and generously.  

Here's to you, Trish.  The bridge called home another angel today.

Some other plans

Like I don't have enough on my plate already, I've decided to tackle something that I've wanted to do for a very long time.  

When I was much younger and had oodles of free time on my hands to pursue whatever fancy happened to strike me, I spent a lot of time writing fiction.  Mostly short stories, a little poetry, a few small novellas.  For me it was a way to escape reality for a little while, creating, molding and fabricating a world far from my own. 

Back then I loved authors like Stephen King for example, and my own writing tended to emulate that genre of the bizarre - strange characters and strangers story lines.

I come by my love for literature honestly enough.  In our house growing up, if you didn't have a book in your hand, you'd likely die of boredom.  No one talked.  No one discussed current affairs or even compared notes on whatever piece of fiction you were currently engrossed in.  Nope, we all read to ourselves.

This, of course, cause a myriad of problems for me a little later in life when I realized in my failing first marriage that I had no idea how to communicate.  Give me a pen and paper and I could write pages of detailed explanations on my feelings and thoughts.  As soon as I opened my mouth though, words failed me.  It took years to get past that and figure out how to sit and talk to someone about problems and life.

Fast forward to now.

I still love literature (hence half my bachelor's degree in English literature) and I still love to write, although I've broadened my horizons encompassing more than just the weird.  

So, I've decided to write a book.  I won't give anymore information than that though.  It's not even fiction which surprises me, but when the idea popped into my head a few weeks ago I thought, "Hey!  That's a great idea!!"  (Of course I think it's a great idea - it's my own after all!)  I guess we'll have to wait and see if others think so too.

So keep watching!  One of these days I'll have this sucker done and maybe you'll even buy it!

(Now I'm imagining myself sitting in Mexico, laptop in front of me, a marguerita ready for sipping, writing away til my heart's content...  Another reason to get my butt there?  Like I needed another reason....)

A slight change in the plan

My almost 18 year old son, has CHOSEN to go to summer school this year.  Chosen.  I never mentioned a thing about it.  He's graduating this year, but decided to return to high school for an extra year before going to university so that he can bring some of his marks up and take some extra classes.

Have I mentioned how incredibly proud I am of him?  Well, I am.  He's such a great kid.

So how does this change our plans?  Well, I had originally wanted to head to Playa in July for our week's vacation, but he'll be in summer school, so now we're looking at August.

I spoke to the owner (via email) of the Plantation House in Playa, and she seems like such an interesting and really nice person!  I can't wait to meet her this summer!

We're all looking forward to this trip.  For one thing, this will likely be the last "family" trip we take for quite some time.  With Mike getting older and university on the horizon for him, taking family trips is inevitably going to get lower and lower on his list of things to do.  For Ger and I, it will be a small taste of what life in Mexico would be like away from the big resorts.  And for Meaghan, it will be her first plane ride, her first trip away from Canada (except for crossing the border into New York).  I can't wait to watch her experience everything!

Bring on Playa!!!!!

A plan for summer

Well, I think we may have a plan for this summer.

Hubby kind of wants to wait until winter, but I'm thinking more along the lines of "why not both".  (I haven't told him that yet though)

I'm hoping we can get to Playa del Carmen for a week, maybe around the beginning of July. Playa is one of the places that I want to investigate as a possible future home.  I'm still really excited about Mazatlan, but as I've complained about ad nauseum before, the cost of flying to Mazatlan from here is just not in the budget at the moment.  

I was looking for places to rent on the internet, and the Plantation House in Playa is exactly what we're looking for!  I'm not really interested in the modern "american" looking condos.  Nope.  Not for me.  One of the things that I really like about Mexico is the "Mexican feeling".  In my opinion, you just miss out on that in these new high rise condos. 

 There will probably be 5 of us going.  Hubby and I, daughter and son, and his friend.  The boys will both have graduated from high school this June, so I think they'll really enjoy this.  Besides, my son's friend who will likely be going with us is moving away this summer, and so this will be a nice time for the two of them share before he goes.

We probably wont have a bunch of money left to spend on touristy things either, but I'm more interested in checking out centro, seeing what's around within the city, and experiencing Mexico in the summer to see if Gerald and Meaghan will find the heat to be too much in area.

July seems like such a long, long way off.............

I hate exams.

With the school year wrapping up, I've been writing final essays and preparing for exams.  Last night I wrote my English exam.  It didn't go as well as planned.

I got up at 5am yesterday, ready to take on the day.  The coffee was waiting for me, thanks to the built in timer.  I poured a cup, turned on my laptop, browsed around for a bit until everyone got up, got them all out the door and got myself ready for a long day of studying.

First of all, this class was definitely not one that I particularly enjoyed.  16th Century English Literature doesn't really get me all worked up.  Since my degree is a combined degree, I have to take an equal number of French and English credits.  The english credits are broken up into time periods, and you're required to take so many credits from each time period.  Of course, I've saved the best for last....  early literature.  (There was a lot of sarcasm in that last sentence, in case you missed it.)

On the reading list, was a rather obscure English poet by the name of Isabella Whitney.  She's obscure because back in the 15th and 16th centuries, women weren't even encouraged to learn to read nevermind write, so you'll be hard pressed to find much written by women if you're looking back that far.  And trust me...  you're not missing much.

Anyway.  During classes, we spent about 30 minute discussing this person.  She wasn't high on the radar for potential exam questions.  So I thought.

As I was flipping through my notes, in the essence of making the most of my time, I considered whether it worth my time to read up on her or not.  I didn't really have any notes to speak of for her, and to be quite honest, her poetry had not been revised and edited to a more understandable version of English for us more modern people.  I passed her by, deciding to move on to poets we'd spent much more time on.

So, seated in the exam room, I get my exam question sheet.

Part A - worth 30%.

Pick 3 of the following 6 words and write a paragraph etc.

Part B - worth 30%.

Pick of the following 6 passages and write a detailed analysis.

Part C - 40%.  (This is where the problem begins)

Pick one of the following 3 topics and write an essay.

Topic 1 - Isabella Whitney - write about blah, blah, blah.

Topic 2 - Isabella Whiney - write about a different blah, blah, blah.

Topic 3 - Something else I wasn't very familiar with, AND compare this to....  of course....  Isabella Whitney

Are you %&**#$! kidding me?????

As I'm sitting there staring at the sheet, cursing like a trucker under my breath, I realize that my English mark is quickly going down the tubes.

Moving on to today.

Last weekend, I spent about 12 hours writing a very detailed essay for my french class on the effect of setting in french-canadian literature.  I WORKED on this essay.  The only thing I hadn't done was the bibliography.  I left that to tonight - The paper is due tomorrow.

So I sit down in front of my laptop, and press the "power" button.  Nothing happens.  The only sound I hear is my heart plummeting down to my ankle region.  My paper is safely stored on this laptop.  I try again and still nothing happens.  Now my mouth is doing it's best imitation of the Sahara Desert.

I tried unplugging it, hitting the power button repeatedly, plugging it back in.... this went on for the longest 2 or 3 minutes of my life.  Finally, like any self-respecting woman, I started pleading to it.  This seemed to work.  I gingerly pressed that power button one last time, and the cheerful little Apple "bing" rang like music to my ears.  My paper was saved.  

It has now been emailed to my work address, ready to be printed out and delivered safely to my prof's hands.