Tired

Sometimes life just comes out of nowhere and kicks you straight, flat out in the ass, and then if that wasn't enough, it just sucks whatever is left right out of you.

This is a bit of a rant, pity-party, bitch session, poor me whine, just so we're clear.

Life has been pretty good lately.  Not great, but okay.  We've been happy enough I guess.  Sometimes we struggle with things, but we usually land on our feet.  We will this time too eventually, but we've had such a set-back today that I feel like I've had the wind kicked out of me and now I need to go throw up and cry in a corner.

I won't go into specifics, but I've had a good long cry tonight.  I don't feel any better, but I know that tomorrow is another day and life goes on.

So what's the fall-out from all of this?  The trip we had planned for January or February isn't going to happen.  Not much is going to happen.

All of our saving and every inch of credit is gone.  We have no room to maneuver at al.  I'm trying so hard to be positive but my head hurts, my heart has sunk as far as it can go.

I keep smiling for my kids.  I can't let them know.  I can't let them worry.  It's not their job.  It's mine.

I'm tired.  My spirit is tired.  My energy is depleted.  I'm so tired.  I'm sad and defeated and I can't keep up.