Tired

Sometimes life just comes out of nowhere and kicks you straight, flat out in the ass, and then if that wasn't enough, it just sucks whatever is left right out of you.

This is a bit of a rant, pity-party, bitch session, poor me whine, just so we're clear.

Life has been pretty good lately.  Not great, but okay.  We've been happy enough I guess.  Sometimes we struggle with things, but we usually land on our feet.  We will this time too eventually, but we've had such a set-back today that I feel like I've had the wind kicked out of me and now I need to go throw up and cry in a corner.

I won't go into specifics, but I've had a good long cry tonight.  I don't feel any better, but I know that tomorrow is another day and life goes on.

So what's the fall-out from all of this?  The trip we had planned for January or February isn't going to happen.  Not much is going to happen.

All of our saving and every inch of credit is gone.  We have no room to maneuver at al.  I'm trying so hard to be positive but my head hurts, my heart has sunk as far as it can go.

I keep smiling for my kids.  I can't let them know.  I can't let them worry.  It's not their job.  It's mine.

I'm tired.  My spirit is tired.  My energy is depleted.  I'm so tired.  I'm sad and defeated and I can't keep up.

Never enough time...

Wow, you can tell school is back in! I keep meaning to update this blog, but I never seem to get the chance. I just can’t figure out why with working full time, school at night, parenting, etc I just can’t find the time! Wonder Woman I am not.

This is my last year in my undergraduate degree studies. It’s been such a long, long haul. I’m delighted to see the proverbial “light” at the end of the tunnel. I remember when I started it seemed like an insurmountable challenge, and here I am at the end.

This semester is relatively easy with just one course. Due to scheduling problems, I’ve ended up with the worst schedule I’ve ever seen. Other people are grimacing and offering condolences when they hear about it. My son has already warmed his friends that mom is going to “grummmpay” in January. I can even see my sex life going down the tubes much to my husband’s dismay….

As I said, this semester is good. One class. I’ve always taken 2 classes per semester which was a good balance. However, with this being my last year, my course choices were really limited. After 2 weeks of trying to work things out in the best way possible, I ended up with 3 classes in second semester. That means that I’ll be at school 3 nights per week as well as one morning, which I’ll have to take off as unpaid time. That’s 4 days a week, with a 45-minute drive each way.

The only positive note is that come April, I will have a bachelor’s degree.

My current challenge is applying to teacher’s college for the 2009 intake. I’m in the process of getting all my papers in order to apply. The deadline is November 28th, and I won’t find out if I’ve been accepted anywhere until April of 2009. That’s one heck of a long wait.