Tired

Sometimes life just comes out of nowhere and kicks you straight, flat out in the ass, and then if that wasn't enough, it just sucks whatever is left right out of you.

This is a bit of a rant, pity-party, bitch session, poor me whine, just so we're clear.

Life has been pretty good lately.  Not great, but okay.  We've been happy enough I guess.  Sometimes we struggle with things, but we usually land on our feet.  We will this time too eventually, but we've had such a set-back today that I feel like I've had the wind kicked out of me and now I need to go throw up and cry in a corner.

I won't go into specifics, but I've had a good long cry tonight.  I don't feel any better, but I know that tomorrow is another day and life goes on.

So what's the fall-out from all of this?  The trip we had planned for January or February isn't going to happen.  Not much is going to happen.

All of our saving and every inch of credit is gone.  We have no room to maneuver at al.  I'm trying so hard to be positive but my head hurts, my heart has sunk as far as it can go.

I keep smiling for my kids.  I can't let them know.  I can't let them worry.  It's not their job.  It's mine.

I'm tired.  My spirit is tired.  My energy is depleted.  I'm so tired.  I'm sad and defeated and I can't keep up.

Never enough time...

Wow, you can tell school is back in! I keep meaning to update this blog, but I never seem to get the chance. I just can’t figure out why with working full time, school at night, parenting, etc I just can’t find the time! Wonder Woman I am not.

This is my last year in my undergraduate degree studies. It’s been such a long, long haul. I’m delighted to see the proverbial “light” at the end of the tunnel. I remember when I started it seemed like an insurmountable challenge, and here I am at the end.

This semester is relatively easy with just one course. Due to scheduling problems, I’ve ended up with the worst schedule I’ve ever seen. Other people are grimacing and offering condolences when they hear about it. My son has already warmed his friends that mom is going to “grummmpay” in January. I can even see my sex life going down the tubes much to my husband’s dismay….

As I said, this semester is good. One class. I’ve always taken 2 classes per semester which was a good balance. However, with this being my last year, my course choices were really limited. After 2 weeks of trying to work things out in the best way possible, I ended up with 3 classes in second semester. That means that I’ll be at school 3 nights per week as well as one morning, which I’ll have to take off as unpaid time. That’s 4 days a week, with a 45-minute drive each way.

The only positive note is that come April, I will have a bachelor’s degree.

My current challenge is applying to teacher’s college for the 2009 intake. I’m in the process of getting all my papers in order to apply. The deadline is November 28th, and I won’t find out if I’ve been accepted anywhere until April of 2009. That’s one heck of a long wait.

Helping out the Peanut Pet Shelter in Playa

The Peanut Pet Shelter, run by generous people, Andy and Jen, works tirelessly to find loving homes for the many homeless dogs and cats of Playa del Carmen. They provide shelter, medical care, spay and neutering, food and search for loving people to adopt these sweet animals into their homes.

Finding the money to fund this kind of operation takes countless hours, energy and a huge amount of dedication.

American Express is offering up tons of money for organizations needing money and the Peanut Pet Shelter was accepted as a competitor!

To help, you can visit the link below and nominate the Peanut Pet Shelter as a deserving organization. Once you follow the link, you do have to register as a guest, however it only takes a minute and just imaging how much this money would benefit all the homeless animals in Playa!

http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/LHHZO5

Please take a few moments and help out by nominating the Peanut Pet Shelter! The animals, along with Andy and Jen thank you!

Could I do it?

You betcha.  I definitely could live here.  

However, as I read different boards on the internet, I see how easily other people make friends and chat with others around them.  I read about one guy who went to Java Joe's near here, sat down beside a local guy, started up a conversation and they have been friends since.  How does that happen?  How do people do that?

I admit, I'm a little on the shy side.  I don't easily just strike up conversations with people.  That is definitely one of my weak points.  Gerald is worse at that than I am.  He's shy, but doesn't admit it.  Not shy in the sense that he can't walk up to someone and ask a question, but shy making friends.  

I wish we could walk into a room and just be open and have people want to know us, but we're just not those people.  We're us.  Quieter, more reserved, but fun, funny, fun-loving, smart people.

Anyway, back to the original intent of this post.  I got a little sidetracked there.

Could I live here?  I think I could.  I love the beauty of this area.  I love the trueness of the people.  There are no pretensions, no false airs.  These people are mexican, this is the way they are.  They work hard, smile and say Hola, they do what they need to do to survive.  I admire them.  

I love the language.  I'm not good at it; I know words, but can't put them together in a sentence.  But I love to listen to them.  I love the sounds they make, the richness of the words as they roll of their tongues in a long stream of syllables that seem to have no beginning or end.

I love the food.  What's not to love???  

I admire then men and women working in this sweltering heat and humidity, building buildings, and working at their jobs to feed their families. 

I love the challenge of going to the store and trying to find what I need, struggling through the spanish language and differences in products.

I feel like I'm thinking and feeling, watching, listening, learning.  I don't feel like I do at home in Canada where everything is so easy.  I know everything.  I know where to find everything.  I can get whatever I need without really having to work at it.  I go to school and learn, but I don't learn about life during my everyday life.  I take it all for granted.

Gerald went to the grocery  store by himself yesterday.  He speaks absolutely no spanish.  He did it!  He got there, he shopped, he found what he needed, he figured out how to get what he was there for, he paid and he came back.  That seems like such a small thing, but when you think about it, it's a huge accomplishment.  He's in a foreign country and doesn't speak the language, but he learned and was successful.

Could he live here?  He could and he'd love it.  He'd grow as a person.  He just doesn't really see that yet.  He's sees things as being frustrating at times, instead of as a challenge and opportunity to learn and experience.  

Mike was frustrated the first day by the language barrier.  Yesterday he went into a shop and bought something by himself, between his very limited knowledge and the store clerk's broken English, they managed to make the transaction.  I'm proud of him.

It's these little things that my family are doing while we're here that makes this trip so worthwhile.  For some people, a vacation in Mexico is about the beaches and the bars.  And yes those things are great.  But, for me, it's the opportunities that are presented that make it meaningful.  I'll always remember Gerald's first trip to the Mega on his own.  How silly!  

The possibilities are endless here! 

In Playa del Carmen

Hi everyone!

Well, we're here in Playa and loving it.  This really was the best thing for all of us after losing Chorney.  We're just having such a good time that we've hardly had a chance to miss her.

It's funny how things work, you know.  Mike (my son) and I were wading around in the ocean yesterday and he starts talking all about real estate here, about how you could start by buying one condo, renting it out, saving the money to buy a second condo, and go from there.  It was a good conversation - we covered infrastructure, economy, finances etc. 

It was an interesting conversation because of all the family, he was the one who was most convinced that I'd lost my marbles for wanting to move here.  He was the one who rolled his eyes, laughed, tried to dissuade me with comments about crime and corruption, told people that I was crazy, and here he is telling me that he could definitely live here.  What a change of attitude that was!

Anyway, we're here and loving it.  Playing on the beach, in the ocean, in the pool, strolling along 5th Ave in the evenings, eating local food from hole in the wall places, and being a family.  These are the best times!

Bittersweet

We are leaving for Detroit today.  We'll stay overnight and then catch our flight tomorrow morning for Cancun and then head for Playa.  We're all excited and more than ready to go.  Last  night we had to put Chorney, our beautiful German Shepherd, to sleep.  The mood around the house for the past few days has been sad to say the least.  I seem to burst into tears at the oddest moments.

Chorney suffered from Progressive Myelopathy.  This disease is more common in large breed dogs, and most common in Shepherds.  The information highway between the brain and the spine degenerates, leaving the dog with the inability to know where their back end is, what it's doing and what's going on with it.  It's 'progressive' because it moves up the spine from the tail, and eventually takes over the back legs, bowels, bladder, and then the other organs.  In the past few days, Chorney had lost the ability to walk almost completely.  There was no fun in her life.  It was time to let her go.

I'm so thankful to have had her for 13 wonderful years.  She was such a tropper.  She was our security guard, our playmate, our friend, a part of our family.  The house is so strange without her here.

This trip couldn't be coming at a better time.  We all have something else to focus on, and what better than a trip to beautiful Playa.

Rest in peace, baby girl.  You'll be in our hearts forever.

8 Days and Counting

Our trip to Playa has really kind of crept up on us. I remember thinking "We still have 9 weeks before we go" and here we are at 8 days. Time flies! I mean seriously. This whole summer has just whipped by so far. Maybe I should stop wishing Monday to Friday away...

We've been mentally checking things off our to-do list, and list is getting rather short now. I'm sure there are other things we'll have to do, but these are the ones that are foremost on my mind right now.

• Buy US money
• Stock up on sun screen
• Find a kennel for Chorney
• Ask Meaghan's friend's mom if they will look after the hamster
• Get Meaghan new flip flops
• Finish reading my book for school so I can read something that I WANT TO READ!

I got a great list of cheap places to eat in Playa from http://www.playa.info/index.html . We're not rich and since there are 4 of us going this time we need to find ways of cutting down on costs while we're there. One of the wonderful members on the board had compiled an 8 page list of restaurants, mercado's, taco carts etc. I've printed it off and put it with the other info type stuff I'm bringing with us.

I've been in touch with the owners of the Plantation House, and recieved all the information needed from them. I'm looking forward to meeting them! She is from France and by coincidence, he is originally from a city about 30 minutes from here, which is where I lived when I first moved down here from northern Ontario. They seem like really nice, genuine people.

I found a webcam located at Playa Palms Beach so I've been watching the people go by on and off throughout the day. This morning I saw a guy taking a picture of 7 empty beach chairs. Why, I don't know... Seems like an odd thing to take pictures of, but that's just me. I would have turned around and taken a picture of the ocean!

This will probably be our last trip until after I finish teacher's college. There just won't be any money leftover for trips until I finish and actually start teaching, so we'll have to make the most of this one! I know that in about 3 or 4 months I'll be wanting to go again. Just have to keep myself in check and be responsible. Being responsible sucks.