Moving out

... of Blogger that is.

Macs have this great program called iWeb that lets you create and publish blogs, among other things.  I've been contemplating using the iWeb program instead of this because it allows for much more creative freedom, and it' a lot more fun.

I really hope you'll update your links to my new blog - it just wouldn't be the same without all of you.  

Please come see me at:

www.web.me.com/littlebit1

2008 - 2009

Wow!  It's over!  2008 is another year in the history books.

08 brought some happy times and some not so happy times.  I'm glad it's over and excited to move ahead with the new year and see what it has to bring!

2008 brought:

The close death of my mother in a car accident.  It was a long, slow road to recovery for her including 6 months in hospital.  She's thankful to be alive and back at home, but it's difficult to see how limited she is now physically.  She's in her late 70's and age and years of not looking after herself have caught up with her.  Her accident took months out of my life well as I cared for her, running back and forth to hospital, looking after insurance, home care etc. 

My son's high school graduation was in June, and I am SO proud of him and all his accomplishments.  We've just completed his university applications and I'm so anxious to see where life takes him.  He wants to teach and I think he'll be a great teacher!

Gerald and I took a much needed vacation to Cancun in February where we reconnected with each other and finally had some time in life to sit back and talk to each other.  It was a wonderful and much needed week away.  This was also the week that got me seriously thinking about making Mexico our home as my love affair with the country and its people began.

We lost our beloved German Shepherd and sent her to the rainbow bridge.  This was probably the most heart wrenching thing that happened throughout the entire year.  Making the decision to put your animal to sleep is so difficult.  The kids were heartbroken but we took consolation in the fact that it was the best decision for her.  She could finally rest without pain.  We miss her everyday, but have so many wonderful memories of our girl.

We had the chance to take a vacation as a family, taking the kids to Playa del Carmen in August.  I think I left part of my heart there!  Having both kids with us on vacation is a rare event and we loved every minute of it!  Both kids were thrilled to be there and loved Playa almost as much as me!

I started my last year of university and the light at the end of the tunnel got so much brighter.  I also filled out my own applications for teacher's college and began the long wait to get an answer.

2009 will be the year when:

I quit smoking.  Again.  And hopefully for the last time.  With my 40th birthday just around the corner, I'm finding myself focusing more and more on adapting a healthier lifestyle and taking better care of myself.

I will graduate!!!  This is my last semester in completing my undergrad degree and I can't wait!

I will also begin teacher's college and take another step in getting on with my life.  Unfortunately, this also means that our finances are going to go down the proverbial drain.  

I will focus more or myself instead of getting bowled over by life.  I really want to be able to take more time for myself and rediscover the things I love about me.

I will try to finish some of the projects we've started around the house.  Some of these having been left unfinished for a few years now and this year, I swear they're going to be finished!

There are so many things that happened in 08 and so many that I'm looking forward to in 09.  

All the best to you and yours this new year!

AWOL

Yup, that's me in a nutshell.  AWOL.

It's not even that I've been insanely busy, or tied up, in prison, held hostage or anything like that.  I've just been...  meh.

"Meh" means ho hum.  Uninspired.  Bored.

That's me.  All of the above.

The end of last school semester came and went and although I loved the class I took, enjoyed the books, I was disappointed in my results.  I am, however, relieved to be off (from school at least) for the Christmas break and trying to psych myself for the schedule I've laid out for myself for my last semester.

I'm not a very Christmas-ey type person.  I love to see my children enjoying all the festivities and gifts, but I can take it or leave it.  I feel guilty if I haven't bought enough for them to meet the "quota".  My family is so small that we only celebrate with my mom and my in-laws.  

Christmas also marks the anniversary of my dad's death which is always a little sad.

Then there's work - where the general feeling is that "work" is more important than anything else.  I'm so glad that I don't subscribe to that notion.

I sometimes find it hard to come here and read what everyone has been doing in their perspectives homes in the sunny south.  So far in the past 2 weeks we've had: 3 major snowstorms, rain, freezing rain, above average temperatures (above zero), below average temperatures (below -15), hurricane force winds (ok, I may be exaggerating here a little but they're big ass winds none the less) and hail.  It's gray and shitty, dirty and muddy, cold and windy.  So, I sometimes find it pretty depressing to be stuck here while some people are enjoying the places I want so badly to be.  Nothing personal folks - I just really despise winter.

Anyway.  On to cheerier things.

We DID have a nice Christmas and we're having friends over for a quiet New Year's Eve.  

So, even though I've been "Meh", I wish you all a great 2009 and hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Bring on the New Year!!!!

What I'm reading these days

Thankfully, classes are over for this semester and I don't go back until January, so I've got some time to delve into some reading of my choice.  Amazon.ca sucked me in again and forced me to buy 4 books.

The History of Mexico by Burton Kirkwood is a great book, although a little "textbooky".  It covers everything from the Mayans, Aztecs, the Conquistadors, the wars of Mexican independence, the Porfiriato, the Mexican revolution, right up to present times.  If you're looking for an interesting read, this is a good one!

I recently watched the movie "Blood Diamond" and was completely captivated by it.  I knew about blood diamonds, but I guess I was a little naive about the truth behind them.  The movie left me ashamed of having wanted a diamond ring, and more ashamed of actually wearing them.  This movie grabbed my heart, and so I wanted to learn more about Sierra Leone and the trade of blood diamonds.  (This is where Amazon.ca comes in again.....)

Blood Diamonds by Greg Campbell is the story of how diamond smuggling works, how the rebel war has destroyed Sierra Leone and how the policies of the diamond industry allowed it all to happen.  I haven't read the book yet, but I'll let you know how it is.  

A Long Way Gone - memoirs of a boy soldier by Ishmael Beah is a biography recounting how the author fled attacking rebels in Sierra Leone, joined the army, was removed from fighting at age 16 by UNICEF, learned to forgive himself for the terrible acts he committed and learned to love himself once again.

The Bite of the Mango by Mariatu Kamara chronicles how the author, while living in a small rural village near Sierra Leone was attacked by rebels who cut off her hands.  She survived and is now living Toronto, Ontario attending school.  

I know these books are going to affect me in many ways, but reading the truths about mankind can only bring a better understanding of the world, and the people who inhabit it.  Even if the subject is atrocious and horrific, it has really happened, and I'm willing to open myself to it instead of turning a blind eye.  

Jammie Weekend

To be quite honest, I have nothing new to talk about. I spent the entire weekend in my pyjamas working on an essay for school. It was a good weekend to hibernate in the house - Cold, rain, hail, snow. So, unless you want to hear all about my essay on Agar, a french book by Albert Memmi, which really is a fascinating book, by the way, you'll just have to wait for another day.

I did however, discover a really easy dinner - and I have NO idea why I didn't think of doing it sooner.... I'm a tool sometimes...

I made meatballs, got sub buns, cooked the meatballs in the spaghetti sauce, poured in all into the buns, and voila! Meatballs subs. Never a need to spend 8 dollars and whatever cents at Pizza Pizza again.

I'm too old?

Wow.  I'm kind of stunned over here in Canada.  I'm too old!  I'm 4 months shy of my 40th birthday and I'm too old.  

I'm a daydreamer, and I spend a lot of my time thinking about leaving Canada for Mexico, or anywhere else for that matter, to teach.  I love the idea of France or Italy, Mexico (for obvious reasons)..  pretty much anywhere.

So I was browsing around my university's international office website looking to see what opportunities there are through different teach away organizations.  I found a whole list of them, but for the greater majority, you have to be under the age of 35.  Seriously.

I was stunned.  I don't feel 40.   Hell, I don't even look 40!  Isn't 40 the new 30?  

Reading these websites was a bit of an eye opener.  A bit of a shocker, to say the least.  

Yes, I was born in the 60's.  It was the LATE 60's though.

Physically I look pretty darned good for my age.  I need someone to put my butt and my boobs back where they were 20 years ago, but I've had 2 kids!  

Sheesh.

I've got a few grays, but they're covered up with dye.  No one would know the difference.

So I guess I don't get to use the organizations and I'll have to do the legwork on my own when the time comes.

If anyone hears of any awesome teaching jobs that aren't in Canada or the States, keep me in mind!  I promise to leave my walker at home!

A group blog it is! Bilingual couples

As I was cruising through my favourite blogs, I headed to Cancun Canuck, read her post on languages, followed the link to Fned's blog, and well, here I am!

In our home, I speak English and French, with English being my mother tongue, my son Mike speaks English and French, again with English being his mother tongue.  My husband Gerald speaks only English, as does our daughter, Meaghan.

I grew up in northern Ontario and attended a french immersion school.  This is a school for anglophone children where they are submerged in the French language.  Along about grades 2 or 3, you end up with a child who is bilingual.

I continued on in french until high school when I attended an English school.

Mike was also in french immersion until grade 5 when we moved and put him in an English school.  At this point however, he was already bilingual and we've both kept our french.

We speak to each other occasionally in french, but because Gerald and Meaghan are both English-only speakers, we continue to speak English primarily.

Now you may wonder why we didn't choose to put Meaghan in french immersion as well.  I regret the fact that we didn't.  I really wish we had.  But it boils down to the same reason we took Mike out of french.  When we moved to this house, there were no french immersion schools within walking distance.  Simple - geography.

Meaghan will be in grade 4 next year and will begin french lessons in school.  At that point, Mike and I will both be speaking a lot more french in the house, because I want her to gain as much french, and have as much exposure to french as possible.  I guess that's my guilt speaking and me trying to make up for the mistake of not putting her in immersion from day 1.

As for Gerald.

I really think there are some people in this world who cannot learn a second language.  Seriously.  I speak 2 and am learning a third, Mike speaks 2, Meaghan is learning Spanish and French with me (even though she sometimes gets the two confused - she'll say oui or si).  Gerald...  poor Gerald can't seem to retain anything he learns in languages.  Or so he says.  The past 2 times we were in Mexico, he picked up as much Spanish as I did, but refuses to admit it.

So, maybe he's lazy.  Maybe he lacks confidence.  Could be anything.  

We are a bilingual house - or at least half the house is - but we continue to speak English predominantly.  Why?  I really think it's laziness.  It's just easier to speak the language we all understand and speak easily, instead of challenging ourselves to learn.  Maybe I should quit speaking English all together and force Gerald and Meaghan to learn a little more!

Racial healing?

Yes, Obama won and is the president elect in the States.

I'm not big on politics - Canadian or American.

I'm pleased that he won though. He's a fantastic speaker, and I really believe he's got his head in right place. He wants positive change, and he's got a lot of work to do. Repairing international relationships, the economy, the war, the list goes on. I probably would have voted him too, if I were American.

On the MSN website, like every other website today, the presidential election is on the first page. So I read it. One woman had this to say:

"It will be the beginning of racial healing in the country."

Will it? Just because the president is a black man?

I had to go back and read her statement three or four times.

Yes, I think a bright, educated, eloquent black man leading the States will be an incredible role model for young black men and boys all over the world. How couldn't he be? But I just don't see how Obama being president is going to be the beginning of racial healing.

There will always be crazy white supremacists walking the streets, there will always be holy wars, racial slurs and lines drawn in the sand between races. Do I like it? Certainly not.

I believe all races to be equal, with the only dividers being money, geography and opportunity. I am a white Canadian woman, and no better than anyone else on this planet. I don't identify myself as "white", "woman" or "Canadian". I'm a PERSON. Just like you and you and you.

I would love to see racial healing, but I don't think Obama's got the power to erase the pain and memories. It's certainly a step in the right direction, but unfortunately, I don't think there will ever be a time - at least in my lifetime - where race doesn't play a part in society at large.

Weird weather

So strangely enough, we're having really beautiful weather.  This is the weather we should have had in September and early October instead of early November.  It's warm, sunny with blue skies.  Not right now of course, because it's after 7pm, but during the day, it's been beautiful.

And to make it even sweeter, this is supposed to last throughout the week!!  Hoorah!  Finally something positive to post about!

October/November weather here in southern Ontario can be a bit on the bizarro side.  I remember a few Halloweens where I sat on the front step handing out candy, in a t-shirt while sipping a glass of wine.  But I also remember some where the poor kids had 18 layers of clothing stuffed under their costumes, making them all look like extremely fat little versions of whatever they were supposed to be.

My daughter loves Halloween, which is the exact opposite of me.  I hate it with a passion.  What's worse than sending your kids out - the same kids you nag not to eat crap all the time, to brush their teeth really, really well - and then encouraging them to fill entire pillow cases with snack crap full of sugar??  Well, I know its fun, but really - I'm not a supporter.

Anyway, at the tender age of 8, she seems to have shed her girlie-girl ways, wanting to dress up like princesses and pop stars, and decided she wanted to go out like a dead man.  

A dead man, Megs?

Yes mom, a dead man.

So we raided Ger's closet, found a shirt and tie, put her hair up in a hat, did up her face to look 'dead' and off she went with her little friends, returning only when she couldn't stuff one more halloween sized Coffee Crisp into her bag.  (The only acceptable thing about Halloween are bite-sized Coffee Crisp bars.  They make me really happy!)

What she really enjoyed though was that she didn't have to have a winter coat on over her costume, or underneath it for that matter.

I so wish this weather would stick around, but I know better.  Pretty soon we're going to pay for our "Indian summer".

The Death of Common Sense

This is one of my favourite things that gets passed along through emails. It's also something that makes me crazy because it's so true.

_________________________________________________________________

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
* Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
* Why the early bird gets the worm;
* Life isn't always fair;* and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are incharge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned butoverbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion!!!!!????

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault..

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust his wife, Discretion his daughter, Responsibility his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

* I Know My Rights
*I Want It Now
* Someone Else Is To Blame
* I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

What community?

So the other day it was raining (what the hell else is new), and so I was watching episodes of various shows from HGTV on my laptop. I found this show I've never seen before where people who are considering buying a house get to stay in the house for 24 hours to "test drive" it. Great concept!

So this one episode features a Canadian family from Toronto who have moved to California for work, have been searching for a house somewhere in the $750-850,000 mark (GASP!). During the show, the family takes a little walk through the community to see what it's like.

As I'm watching, they're commenting on the sense of community of the place, the little cafes, small mom and pop shops etc, which brings me back to why I hate the city I live in.

It's a mid-sized city of about 500,000 people. We're central to a ton of other places, but there's no "neighbourhood" feeling here. There's aren't any little cafes (just Tim Horton's), no mom and pop shops to speak of (big box stores abound however) and no feeling of community. The people on our street don't talk to each other, never mind socialize.

Why do people want to live like this?? I just don't get it.

Which made me think back to our stay in Playa this summer, where I had these great little conversations with a corner store owner every day. I think I spoke to him more in one week that I've ever spoken to a store owner around here! Sad, sad, sad.

What's happened to our lives that we're too busy/private/cautious/guarded/unable/unwilling to speak to people? Where has the sense of "community" and "neighbourhoods" gone???

Meh. Just pisses me off. It really does. For all people say, we could learn a lot from the everyday Mexican people. Is it time to move yet?

Random thoughts

The past little while I feel like I've got Bipolar Disorder. Up one day and down the next. Ugh. I know though, that I'm just incredibly stressed these days by a number of things going on, and that someday things will settle down and I'll be fine. You may have noticed by the topics I've been posting.

Anyway. While I was in the shower this morning, I got to thinking. I do a lot of thinking in the shower. It's a good place to stop and think.

I love the Playa del Carmen area, and could see us living there very happily. Real estate is expensive, but airfair is cheaper.

But then again, I'm so intrigued by the history and architecture etc of the Mazatlan area. Real estate is cheaper, but air fare is much more expensive.

Maybe someday we can afford to go to Mazatlan and check out that area.

Hmmm.... Food for thought.

Another though -

I have one more teacher's college application to fill out. I know very well that I haven't got a chance in hell of being accepted at this particular university, but I'd feel like I was cheating if didn't send in my application stuff anyway.

There is a school in Buffalo where I can apply as well if none of the schools I've applied to accepts me.

Another -

Sitka (Mike and Cynthia's pooch) found her way home, and I wonder if our beloved Chorney was up there in heaven guiding Sitka along her path and keeping an eye out on her. Regardless, I'm so happy that she's been brought home. What a great community in Guaymos!

Stuck in the house

Well, the end of October is fast approaching and winter is quickly barreling down upon us.  Another day of being cooped in the house.  It's still early in the "stuck in the house" season too.

It's cold, grey, really windy.  Most of the leaves have fallen off the trees and are laying in big, wet, soggy heaps on people's lawns.  They're too wet to even rake up.  

No one is outside.  These days you don't see anyone outside other than those running from their car into the house/store/mall/bank/whatever and back again.  No one is out walking, there are no kids out playing, the streets are bare.

Ger knows how badly I want out of here; how much I hate it here.  He's such an optimist that he tries to make everything sounds so much better than it really is.  So I asked him if he'd like to go out for a nice long walk, maybe a find a cafe and sit outside with a coffee.  If it's so bloody great, why not???

First of all, we don't have cafes here.  This is not a city of culture here.  We have 4 million Tim Horton locations instead.  You can go and sit inside and drink from cups made from carton, or from cheap, beige, chipped mugs.  You have the pleasure of being served by cranky teenagers making minimum wage, pissed at having to work there, but willing to do it so they can pay for those 200$ designer jeans.  You rarely get the coffee you asked for.  Ask for milk, they forget and put cream in it.  Ask for sugar, and it's either not in the cup, or all sitting at the bottom because said teenager was too lazy to stick a spoon in the cup and stir it.  If you're like me and drink decaf, you'll be lucky if there's a pot made, and if not, teenager with attitude will ask you if you want a regular coffee instead.  If I wanted a regular coffee I wouldn't have asked for decaf, you moron.  Once you're done, you can run like hell back to your car, battling the wind, pelting rain or snow and throw yourself into your car where you hope the car will warm up before frostbite and hypothermia set in.

Yes, it's great to live here.

I know that once the snow starts, we'll be back to the circus-act we had last year, where my husband had to push my car not only out of the driveway, but down 2 streets out of the subdivision.  Seriously.  I'm stuck with this car.  It's a 2000 Crown Victoria.  It's one big ass car.  My mother was kind enough to give it to me when she bought her 4-wheel drive SUV.  It's drinks gas like an alcoholic sucks back booze.  The best part???  We can't get rid of it!  No will buy the damn thing because with gas at the price it's at, no one wants to spend their money on this gas-guzzling piece of crap.

So I'm stuck with this car I hate.  I need a part-time job to keep it in gas.

This car is also a rear wheel drive.  It sucks in the snow and on ice.  And, believe me, I'm a pretty good driver, having learned to drive in northern Ontario in 20 feet of snow and ice 15 inches thick.  My son is learning to drive, and there's no way I can let him get behind the wheel of this monstrosity of a car in winter because when he does and he gets into an accident, I'll be guilty because I knowingly let him get behind the wheel of my death-trap on 4 wheels.

So, what do we have to look forward to?  The next 5-6 months of being holed-up in our houses, furnaces running full time costing a small fortune, snow that at first looks all pretty and white, but quickly turns brown and dirty because of the sand and salt they spray everywhere so people don't go slip-sliding off the roads.  Constantly shoveling the mountains of snow - sometimes light and fluffy and other times heavy and so wet - until your back aches and blisters form on your hands.  

Yah winter!!!!  But through it all, Gerald will say "It could be worse."  Sure, it could be worse!  But it's pretty damn shitty none the less!  He says this to try to make me feel better, but it just pisses me off.  

Movies

In an effort to reduce monthly household costs, we got rid of all the extra channels on our satellite tv account and have gone with the no-frills package.  No Food Network, Comedy Channel, Hockey channel, HGTV..  none of it.  We get very few channels and very few options.  This is fine with me, because I'm not a big tv watcher anyway.  I have my favourites, All the Law & Order shows, the CSI shows, House Hunters International and.... well I guess that's about it.  

Speaking of CSI - THEY KILLED OFF WARRICK BROWN - the FINEST LOOKING MAN ON ANY TELEVISION SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION!!!!   ok...  I'm better now.

When I get the urge, and the time time, to actually watch something, I look for those shows, and if they're not on, I look for a movie to watch.

I don't like horror movies, although I do enjoy a good psychological thriller - you know the kind that messes up your brain for a few days.  

I love comedies.  Office Space is one of my favourites.  I'm hoping someone will buy me a red Swingline Stapler at some point in my life.

Liar Liar is still, after all these years, one of the silliest movies I've ever seen and gives me the giggles every time I think about it.

Evan Almighty and the fish in the aquarium scene cracks me up.

Some of the Star Trek movies are good for a laugh.

The Airplane movies are classics and speaking of Leslie Neilson,

The Pink Panther is a riot!

My favourite movie of all-time is Under the Tuscan Sun.  It's my favourite for a number of reasons, and all the ex-pats living in different parts of the world could relate.

It's about a successful author, Francis, who's husband cheats on her and wants a divorce.  After it's all settled, her best friend and her partner, who are lesbians, send Francis away on a vacation - a gay tour of Tuscany.

While in Tuscany, Francis ends up jumping off the proverbial ledge and buys a run down villa and never returns to the states.  She hires a group of Polish immigrants to fix up the house, and tries her luck at love all over again with Marcello, a guy who's on the same level of gorgeousness as Gary Dourdan.

The movie is about the re-discovery of herself, healing, taking chances, learning, experiencing and living.  

This movie makes me cry every time I watch it.  I watch Francis (Diane Lane) take the chance of her life, struggle, fall down, get up and shake herself off, learn to love again and in the end succeed by following her dreams.

I love happy endings!

Tanksgibbin

It was actually Thanksgiving, of course, but we've always given Trap the greyhound his own voice, and in Trap-speak, it's Tanksgibbin.

Thank God it's over. I mean, I love my family but seriously. Do we really need to eat that much food?

Ok. It's my fault since I'm the "cooker" for every holiday. But there's guilt about not having enough food so I cook more than we need.

Trap LOVES any holiday that has turkey attached to it as he's the receiver of the prized "turkey neck". He grabs it and high tails it to the back door waiting to be let out because he knows he's not allowed to mow down on it anywhere inside the house. Outside is the appropriate place for the slobber-fest that's going to take place.

Now, before anyone tells me that dogs shouldn't eat raw stuff, keep in mind that Trap is a greyhound of the racing variety, although retired, and has eaten a healthy supply of raw food since day 1. There's a huge population of greyhounds that eat nothing but a raw diet, and they're happy and healthy - usually more so than the kibble-fed greyhound population.

Anyway.

My aunt and uncle came from Timmins and it's always great to see them. I don't get to see them very often and I really enjoy their company. My uncle had a stroke a few years back so he's not 100% clear all the time, but he's still got his great personality.

My mother came with the beast from hell. That would be Ginny, her Yorkshire Terrier. I am NOT a little dog person. Ginny has bottom teeth that stick out, so her two bottom canines protrude giving her this demonic look. She used to run up behind Trap and chew his back legs until Trap finally stepped on her trying to get away. She's hasn't done it since. Instead she runs around the house, vaulting herself onto furniture regardless of whether someone happens to be occupying it or not.

My in-laws came too. They don't exactly fit in with my family. We are loud, outspoken, hand-waving, politic-talking, religion-bashing (at times) people who quite often debate issues in a heated manner. My in-laws are extremely quiet, simple people. They're not up-to-date on politics or world events. Their lives pretty much revolve around who won the hockey game, who's playing in the CFL (that would be the Canadian Football League - the Hamilton Ti-Cats are our contribution to the league here in Hamilton), who died, old cars, and their walk to Herbie's (the local grocery/drug/dollar/parephenalia store).

So while my family is trash-talking the political leaders, debating religious views (my family are Anglicans [praticing and not], in-laws are Catholic [devout]), screaming over wars and news stories, these two meak, not very informed people sit and stare at us like we've just landed our little spaceships on the front lawn and are in the process of speaking in beeps and blips.

Makes for kind of an uncomfortable evening at times. Why? Because I have guilt that they're not "getting" what we're talking about. And they rarely do. My husband will have quiet side conversations with them keeping them entertained while the rest of us carry on. To explain things simply, they just haven't had the experiences in their lives that afford them knowledge. They never travelled, never changed jobs, never got involved in anything besides card games. They've been rather uninformed their entire lives, and prefer to gossip about people they know and try to out-do their own family members. Who has the most expensive car, who has the newest dish-washer.. well, you get the point.

Anyway. One of my cousins came as well which was great. We don't see him very often even though he only lives about 30 minutes away. And, he brought a bottle of red wine. Need I say more?

So after the turkey, the roast, mashed potatoes, baby carrots, roasted asparagus, candied sweet potatoes, spinach au gratin, perogies, dessert and a few bottles of wine were gone, it was over again until Christmas. Trap can't wait!

Thanks

I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who posted and emailed sending good wishes along. I really appreciate it. That was a horrible time for us, and although I'm not going to get into specifics, things are slowly starting to look a little brighter.

I'm in the midst of filling out applications for teacher's college for the 09 intake. They're far more complicated than they need to be. My cousin, who teaches high school, came over last night and he couldn't believe how tedious they are now. Serves me right for waiting until I'm almost 40 to do this. Hindsight - well, you know what they say.

I'm missing Mexico like crazy, especially now that the weather is going downhill. This week has been cold, windy and rainy. Yesterday morning was only +4 degreees celcius. Yuck! Nasty, cold, disgusting weather. This weekend is supposed to be nicer, but these weather people lie a lot, so I believe nothing until I actually see it.

Regardless of the fact that I DESPISE winter, I have to admit that fall in Canada is a wonder to behold. The turning of the leaves in this part of Canada is legendary, and you'd be a liar if you saw it and said you weren't impressed. I'm going to try to take some pictures next weekend, and I'll be sure to post them here for you to see. (I'm sure Cancun Canuck, if she's reading, will appreciate them, but not necessarily miss it! LOL)

I've been keeping up on everyone's blogs even though I admit that I sometimes find them depressing in my own way. They're all written by people who have set out and done exactly what I want to do so badly. I read about their new lives, exploring and experiencing, and I conitnue to lead the same life day after day. I'm so proud of all of you who took the plunge and made it successful! I haven't given up though.... I just have to figure out the "how" and the "when".

Tired

Sometimes life just comes out of nowhere and kicks you straight, flat out in the ass, and then if that wasn't enough, it just sucks whatever is left right out of you.

This is a bit of a rant, pity-party, bitch session, poor me whine, just so we're clear.

Life has been pretty good lately.  Not great, but okay.  We've been happy enough I guess.  Sometimes we struggle with things, but we usually land on our feet.  We will this time too eventually, but we've had such a set-back today that I feel like I've had the wind kicked out of me and now I need to go throw up and cry in a corner.

I won't go into specifics, but I've had a good long cry tonight.  I don't feel any better, but I know that tomorrow is another day and life goes on.

So what's the fall-out from all of this?  The trip we had planned for January or February isn't going to happen.  Not much is going to happen.

All of our saving and every inch of credit is gone.  We have no room to maneuver at al.  I'm trying so hard to be positive but my head hurts, my heart has sunk as far as it can go.

I keep smiling for my kids.  I can't let them know.  I can't let them worry.  It's not their job.  It's mine.

I'm tired.  My spirit is tired.  My energy is depleted.  I'm so tired.  I'm sad and defeated and I can't keep up.

Never enough time...

Wow, you can tell school is back in! I keep meaning to update this blog, but I never seem to get the chance. I just can’t figure out why with working full time, school at night, parenting, etc I just can’t find the time! Wonder Woman I am not.

This is my last year in my undergraduate degree studies. It’s been such a long, long haul. I’m delighted to see the proverbial “light” at the end of the tunnel. I remember when I started it seemed like an insurmountable challenge, and here I am at the end.

This semester is relatively easy with just one course. Due to scheduling problems, I’ve ended up with the worst schedule I’ve ever seen. Other people are grimacing and offering condolences when they hear about it. My son has already warmed his friends that mom is going to “grummmpay” in January. I can even see my sex life going down the tubes much to my husband’s dismay….

As I said, this semester is good. One class. I’ve always taken 2 classes per semester which was a good balance. However, with this being my last year, my course choices were really limited. After 2 weeks of trying to work things out in the best way possible, I ended up with 3 classes in second semester. That means that I’ll be at school 3 nights per week as well as one morning, which I’ll have to take off as unpaid time. That’s 4 days a week, with a 45-minute drive each way.

The only positive note is that come April, I will have a bachelor’s degree.

My current challenge is applying to teacher’s college for the 2009 intake. I’m in the process of getting all my papers in order to apply. The deadline is November 28th, and I won’t find out if I’ve been accepted anywhere until April of 2009. That’s one heck of a long wait.

Helping out the Peanut Pet Shelter in Playa

The Peanut Pet Shelter, run by generous people, Andy and Jen, works tirelessly to find loving homes for the many homeless dogs and cats of Playa del Carmen. They provide shelter, medical care, spay and neutering, food and search for loving people to adopt these sweet animals into their homes.

Finding the money to fund this kind of operation takes countless hours, energy and a huge amount of dedication.

American Express is offering up tons of money for organizations needing money and the Peanut Pet Shelter was accepted as a competitor!

To help, you can visit the link below and nominate the Peanut Pet Shelter as a deserving organization. Once you follow the link, you do have to register as a guest, however it only takes a minute and just imaging how much this money would benefit all the homeless animals in Playa!

http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/LHHZO5

Please take a few moments and help out by nominating the Peanut Pet Shelter! The animals, along with Andy and Jen thank you!

Could I do it?

You betcha.  I definitely could live here.  

However, as I read different boards on the internet, I see how easily other people make friends and chat with others around them.  I read about one guy who went to Java Joe's near here, sat down beside a local guy, started up a conversation and they have been friends since.  How does that happen?  How do people do that?

I admit, I'm a little on the shy side.  I don't easily just strike up conversations with people.  That is definitely one of my weak points.  Gerald is worse at that than I am.  He's shy, but doesn't admit it.  Not shy in the sense that he can't walk up to someone and ask a question, but shy making friends.  

I wish we could walk into a room and just be open and have people want to know us, but we're just not those people.  We're us.  Quieter, more reserved, but fun, funny, fun-loving, smart people.

Anyway, back to the original intent of this post.  I got a little sidetracked there.

Could I live here?  I think I could.  I love the beauty of this area.  I love the trueness of the people.  There are no pretensions, no false airs.  These people are mexican, this is the way they are.  They work hard, smile and say Hola, they do what they need to do to survive.  I admire them.  

I love the language.  I'm not good at it; I know words, but can't put them together in a sentence.  But I love to listen to them.  I love the sounds they make, the richness of the words as they roll of their tongues in a long stream of syllables that seem to have no beginning or end.

I love the food.  What's not to love???  

I admire then men and women working in this sweltering heat and humidity, building buildings, and working at their jobs to feed their families. 

I love the challenge of going to the store and trying to find what I need, struggling through the spanish language and differences in products.

I feel like I'm thinking and feeling, watching, listening, learning.  I don't feel like I do at home in Canada where everything is so easy.  I know everything.  I know where to find everything.  I can get whatever I need without really having to work at it.  I go to school and learn, but I don't learn about life during my everyday life.  I take it all for granted.

Gerald went to the grocery  store by himself yesterday.  He speaks absolutely no spanish.  He did it!  He got there, he shopped, he found what he needed, he figured out how to get what he was there for, he paid and he came back.  That seems like such a small thing, but when you think about it, it's a huge accomplishment.  He's in a foreign country and doesn't speak the language, but he learned and was successful.

Could he live here?  He could and he'd love it.  He'd grow as a person.  He just doesn't really see that yet.  He's sees things as being frustrating at times, instead of as a challenge and opportunity to learn and experience.  

Mike was frustrated the first day by the language barrier.  Yesterday he went into a shop and bought something by himself, between his very limited knowledge and the store clerk's broken English, they managed to make the transaction.  I'm proud of him.

It's these little things that my family are doing while we're here that makes this trip so worthwhile.  For some people, a vacation in Mexico is about the beaches and the bars.  And yes those things are great.  But, for me, it's the opportunities that are presented that make it meaningful.  I'll always remember Gerald's first trip to the Mega on his own.  How silly!  

The possibilities are endless here!